Heyyy hope you like it it's a bit like st trinians and wild child but with boys : D
Evie's P.O.V
"Evie,Ally! Get your lazy arses down hear NOW!" I think I heard my best friend, Roxxie whine it was eaither that or something similar because it disturbed my good dream and I hate it when she does that..why can she not just wait a few more minuites or seconds? Anyway I think Alice (Ally) must of also had her dream disturbed or she thought it was midnight and time for a snack if not, that would be very weird... After we had fufilled Roxxie's wishes and got her to make our breakfast all three of us headed down to the toilets, on our way we saw Liam out mate/worst enemy, Roxxie carried on walking, wispered "twat" under her breath at him then slapped him across the head, Alice stepped in front of him and couldn't think of a clever insult word so just slapped him across the face and then just carried on walking. I was leant against the wall doubled over peeing myself with laugthter at Liams suprised face then he turned round to me and asked me and asked, " why are your friends so violent? " I answered with that your-so-stupid tone, " because they are, retarded person" then walked of. Our boarding school had four names: St school for kids of the rich and famous who they don't care about, St school of rebelling kids of the rich and famous, St school of no rules and St Edwards ( the last name never gets used unless it's coming out of a posh british guys mouth and usually if they do say it, there usually on about a totally diffrentt St Edwards up Scotland. Anyway this was my school and I loved it .
Sorry it's short x on iPod you see x
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm...this is an interesting little scene. It does read like perhaps the opening to something although it is a bit hard to say. It could also easily pass for a standalone short story of sorts despite this being in the novel category xD. At any rate, this is an interesting idea...but before I get more into that I'll have to start off by saying that this one is in desperate need of some paragraphing here. As it is the flow isn't the greatest, and I think breaking things down into a couple of chunks here could really make a proper difference.
At any rate, getting back into the content here, this is actually quite interesting, it seems like a fairly realistic and quite fun friend group that we're dealing with here. It could certainly make for a really intriguing piece if that minor issue with the paragraphing was fixed and this was ironed out just a little. The building blocks of a pretty neat scene are very much visible here, they just need to be built on properly. So overall, a solid piece here, but it does need some work.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
haha i really like this. some typos but those can be easily fixes so overall very nice!