Published June 13, 2005
The black rose and I made up this fun little pieceof work.
Sorrow, depressed, lifeless, and fearful
Why?
The hatred...
Hatred?
Those memories...
Memories?
Past, horrible thoughts lingering
Untimely death
Broken, torture, sad
Faceless, blind, blocked, rage underneath meaningless skin
Cheesy, piercing heartaches
Headaches
Stupid fights and arguments
Pieces of painful, broken words
Our trust is gone forever
Why...
Because the shattered images
Within forgiveness
was ripped away from sweethearts
Emotionless souls are burning with desires
Lust
Lying believes
True factors
Terrible rumors
Unforgivable, exaggerating tales
Weeping blood
Unfixable scratches are cut in deeply
We are puzzled, dazed, unloved
Our imaginations vanished
Our destinies eternal hero has died
Our chances gone forever
Crying within dying darkness
Hating selfish, greedy
Black snakes
Constricting, poisoning our sight
Personal secrets were told outside
Thoughtlessly, painfully, maliciously
Both our hearts, punctured
Again the trust is forgotten
Love-hate relationship
Perennial, ferocious feelings
Adjusted to the malice
Hold onto peace within
Know the truth in myself
For I am a selfish, blind corpse
On interstate 95
Behind my skin there is no numbness
To ease this pain there isn’t
An antidote or cure
To numb this ache
I can't feel love
No sharing joy throughout family and friends
Backstabbing, heart-breaking, hair-raising climax
Written all in ink and permanent tears
Scratching thorns
Tearing screams
Shattering like glass within my dreams.
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Canary word: Present
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Not bad, but I think you need to condense it a little, make it more succint. I also think the "Cheesy" in the second stanza didn't quite fit in, so you may want to re-think that.
Yay Colton, you posted it! I honestly like it, i had a lot of fun writing and re-writing and editing and re-editing it over and over again... I think i'll do it one more time just to scold myself incase I made any mistakes...
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I saw nothing wrong with it. I'll send you some points colton, because well... Because I can.
Wow colton this is a side of you....I thought I would never see..this poem is really strong and meaningful....it shows how much this means to you. Keep it up.....see ya maybe sometime this summer