I dare you to swim across the seas.
I dare you to kiss the one you please.
I dare you to dance like in music you're lost.
I dare you to love, no matter the cost.
If you do as I dare I promise you'll see;
That you will be happy, joyous, and free.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Okay, first off, I love this poem because, even thought it's short, it isn't overwhelming, and the words in it are completely inspiring. I love rhyming in general, so naturally, combined with the meaning of the poem, I really like this piece. To me, it feels like this poem is being written from an inner conscience, which is a unique and highly desirable perspective to me, so I applaud you in your achievement. Some of the wording seemed a little off to be, though I have a feeling that's just to accommodate the rhymes. Overall, though, I really like your poem.
This was done very well.
It gets people thinking, when was the last time I faced my fears and taken the consequences? It's pretty rare for that to happen.
The rhyming you used was very well done. People seem to have problems towards the end of their poems when they're rhyming, but you did it very well.
I love how you repeated "I dare you" to challenge the readers. It makes me wonder how many people will accept the dares. As for me: Challenge Accepted. XD
But I really did like the poem. I don't see anything that needs fixing. Keep up the great work. Can't wait to see more!
Thank you so much. All of the poems so far, including this one, actually happen to be going into a book that I am trying to get published. Your criticism helps me so much
Hello, Cheetah here to review your piece!
What I liked:
1) I liked the rhyming! A lot of rhyming poetry just doesn't seem to work, it tends to sound awkward, but this was great. The rhyming flowed wonderfully and it didn't seem forced at all.
2) The repetition was great as well. The 'I dare' in front of the first four lines really gave the poem depth.
Suggestions:
I only saw a couple nit-picky things so I'll point them out first.
1) In the third line I saw that there was a 'youre'. Just a small correction to 'you're' should fix it.
2) In the fifth line I saw another missing apostrophe. This time in the word 'you'll'. Again, this is nothing big. Personally, I do this a lot.
3) Last thing, the very last line felt a little odd. It might sound better to have the syllables in that line be similar with the ones in the line before.
That's it! I really enjoyed this. I can't wait to read more of your writing soon!
i really like this(:
its short and simple, it does not need to be longer for it gets straight to the point. It gives a message that a lot of people need to learn to follow. That life is short and you need to do all the things you dare yourself to do or else you will regret it later on. Very well written and i really enjoyed the last two lines! keep writing c: