[nil]
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Wow...beautiful imagery...you've just blown me away
My favorite part:
and the broken wings of dead dreams
litter the earth, like leaves;
However, the end did not work for me. I can't exactly place my finger on what didn't really work in it, but it just didn't. Perhaps it was too blunt. Apart from the ending, this is one of the best pieces I've ever come across.
What is a dying cliche? Do you mean, did "I" die in the end of the poem? If so, no. What I meant was that self-mutliation (i.e. hurting myself) could not hurt as much as hurting the "you" in the poem. Does that make sense?
the poem had beautiful imgagery, and the way you put words together...wow.
but? why but? is it contridicting something? if so, it doesn't make sense to me.
either A) this ending was dying cliche - like an un-good cliche
or B) i didn't get it.
i'm hoping for the latter, as this is such a good poem.