Published June 12, 2011
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,808 Literary Works • 673,689 Reviews
this is a magnificent poem! i like how you describe insanity because that's what it's like, i think.
Hello!
So, I really like the idea behind this poem: that insanity is alright, heck, it's better than alright. I'm sure that some of us could relate to that one way or another.I also liked the language of the poem, it's as if the narrator is convienced that insanity is the new 'sane'. It's also really cool how the poem have a sort of excited tone behind it, like everything's a wonder to the narrator, especially insanity.
You also have a very interesting and attention grabbing first line.
I think that line was sheer brilliance.
The poem also ended in a very powerful note, I think, it sort of links it back up to the first line, which makes the poem complete and full.
I don't have any major criticsm, but can I suggest that you proofread your work really carefully, because there's something that looked a bit odd:
The beginning 'w' from there wasn't capitalised yet, everywhere else in the poem, the first line is capitalised, I realise that some people purposely don't capitalise the first letter, but it didn't seem like that was what you were doing in this poem.
I think that it wouldn't hurt adding commas here:
So, just little nitpicks, no major criticsm, I'd say it was it was a poem well written.
Great job. A few very general nitpicks, since I'm feeling to lazy to go into detail:
-Watch your grammar (mostly capitalization, especially capitalize at the beginning of each line, whether it's the start of a sentence or not)
-You spelled hypocrite wrong
-Second line: Did you mean "If your life depended on it"?
-Third to last line: you have 'naught' at first which is right, but then you have 'not' which should still be 'naught'
Really good job. It reminds me of school and my old piano teacher. It makes me glad that I don't have to endure either anymore...at least until school starts back up.
I LOVE this poem! it's so powerful and true, how some people never live life to the fullest! it's truly amazing. I love this line the most, "Heart and mind are connected never skipping the genuine beat," you have great sensory images. Really good job.