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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

Outlaw for Hire: Chapter 4

by brotherGeo


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

(Edited and Updated)

“What why me?” Triss whined.

The inn was just opening up and the three sat at a table in the far left corner. A few patrons had entered, mostly retired workers and veterans, to begin their daily routine of drinking. People could be seen bustling outside. Declan sat fidgeting with his bow while Triss and Enroth bickered about the missing outlaw.

“Cause you will get it done the quickest” Enroth responded firmly “if one of us goes to look for that idiot we will just blunder aimlessly around the forest.”

“And how am I supposed to be better than you humans. I don’t want to look for that fool, he pisses me off.”

“We know you have magic that can use nature Triss, There is no point in denying it.”

“Cynric has some good qualities Triss, just give him some time.” Declan added softly. She sighed and looked at him, and then to Enroth.

“The boys right and besides Cynric’s under my contract, he works for me.” Enroth sighed when Triss didn’t seem to change her opinion. “I hate to flaunt my I’m a duke card… but I’m a duke so could you drag the fool back before I have to order you to do it.”

“tch, fine.” She stormed out the door past several confused inn patrons.

Enroth nodded his thanks to Declan. Wroteger watched silently scratching at his flea ridden hair, “Why does the elf hate Cynric, something happen between the two?” he said his voice similar to a growl as usual.

“She assumes almost everything about a person by first impressions,” Declan said.

“That’s a pretty impatient way of seeing people, especially for an elf.” Enroth remarked.

“Still did anything happen between them?” The Beastkin repeated.

Enroth seemed to pause, stroking his bare chin a grin spread across his face. His beady eyes flickered over to Declan, “Maybe cause our outlaw is all buddy-buddy with her favourite human.” Declan reddened and protested only to be drowned out by Wroteger’s booming laugh

~~

By the gods!

Where the hell did he stumble off to? Triss thought. Last night’s rain had slowed to a steady drizzle, and the ground was muddy. Perfect for animal and human tracks alike if they hadn’t been washed away of course. Several deer and another large creature with 3 legs and hand like footprints had passed the trail recently, there were no signs of any human footprints. Triss bitter that she had to look for that drunken fool cursed softly, "I don’t know why I’m doing this." she muttered to nobody in particular “Damn that Duke, damn it all.”

Unable to find a trace of Cynric she blindly pressed deeper into the forest which would be a bad idea for anyone other than an elf that could bend nature to her will. Annoyed that she had to resort to magic Triss chanted something incomprehensible, the forest breathed in response. The trickle of water in the veins of the trees, the animals chittering she heard it all. Mana rippled and turned around Triss’s slender form, folding onto itself the distortion fell low and burst out in every direction.

She folded her arms and let out a satisfied sigh, "Anything unnatural in this forest I will soon know about, living or dead." As her magic scoured the forest for Cynric or anything else she began to reminisce. The face of her old teacher, warm and comforting but at the same time stern, she couldn’t remember his name but she cherished Her time learning magic under him he was an elf forest guardian after all. The powers of healing, light, and nature had saved her, Declan and countless others they had partied up with.



Triss sensed the forest was healthy and few monsters roamed, this pleased her as too many of Hisair’s (elf goddess of nature) creations had been infested by unholy and wretched creatures.

Something caught her attention, a dull pulse throbbed in her head. Her search had come with something, a corpse of a man lay deeper in the woods.

Surprised Triss started towards it, "I didn't take him to be one to die so easily," she leered "huh, shouldn't I feel more relieved, now I won’t have to deal with him." She scorned herself for saying that. Maybe I should just head back and tell them he’s dead. Triss shook her head pushing away hostile thoughts, she hurried to see if Cynric really had died.

~~

Cynric looked down at the dead man.

His face was weathered and he had a scar running along his left cheek. A simple set of armour covered a huge gash in his chest that Cynric had most likely made, his clothes soaked blood and if it weren’t for the rain the blood would’ve dried already. The dead man had an axe in his hand, a money pouch, and a wanted poster of Cynric. The outlaw stuffed his wanted poster into his back pocket and grabbed the money off the dead bounty hunter, leaving two copper coins on him as a sign of respect for the dead. Inspecting the axe Cynric tested its weight and sharpness, admiring the well-crafted weapon, he holstered the axe where his mace should’ve been but was missing.

Switching his attention back to the corpse he gazed at it. "Sorry buddy I don’t recognize you, but I'm not that easy to kill no matter how famous you are." He said in an almost apologetic tone, “Never attack me when I’m drunk. Apparently, I fight like a demon.” He chuckled softly a hint of regret lingered in his tone.

Cynric gently tapped the man's cheeked and pulled out his flask taking a long swig. Booze trickled over the corpse and he pulled out his flint and steel. Soon the smell of burning flesh made Cynric’s nose crawl, forcing himself to bear it the knelt down beside the burning corpse and made a prayer sign with his hands. He whispered something.

“Who do you pray to outlaw.” A voice rang out across the clearing, Triss stepped into view.

Cynric spat trying to get rid of the bad taste in his mouth, he watched as the elf approached. A smirk spread across his face, “jeez who knows, long ears. I could be praying to the booze I just spilt.”

“Don’t call me that” she snapped, her face settled and her tone went dark. “Cynric I’m being serious, to whom do you pray? Are you one of them?” she looked at him her eyes tinted with confusion and anger.

“A forgotten goddess.” The outlaw mumbled after a long pause.

“One of the forgotten huh. Why?”

“I can’t explain why. I don’t remember why myself.” He snorted “like I would tell you anyway.”

She watched at the outlaw standing near the burning corpse cautiously. “Whatever I don’t care. Do you know why my magic couldn’t detect you?”

Cynric exhaled the tension and grinned stupidly, “nah.”

“Yeah thought so. Look I have too many questions which I know you won’t answer.” She nodded towards the burning corpse, “something to do with your goddess?”

Cynric nodded

Triss started to walk off, “Anyway let’s get out of here, and quick” she said looking at the rising flames. The two made their way out of the forest as they walked past ancient trees in silence Triss admired their grandeur while Cynric kicked at the dirt in impatience. “Say, how did you know I used search magic, and that you avoided detection but don’t know why you avoided detection?” she asked breaking the silence.

“That was very specific.” He responded taken aback her question. “I don’t know I just used the universal denial that doesn’t require explanation.”

“So you didn’t know I used search magic, didn’t know you avoided and don’t know why you avoided detection.”

“Y…yes?” Cynric rubbed his temples, “I don’t know, you’re giving me a bloody headache, long ears.”

She sighed and started back to the village with Cynric at her heels. Enroth was waiting for them.

“Cynric the fool, where the hell did you wander off too.” He said in a half mocking and half condescending tone.

“I was just taking a leisurely stroll through a storm at night what else.” Cynric tossed the bag of coins he got from the bounty hunter. “This will pay all our tabs.” Enroth nodded and went inside to rouse the other two. “Oh thank you Cynric, oh how thoughtful of you. Paying for everyone, with your own money that you stole.” Cynric mocked loudly.

Declan shuffled out of the inn and smiled at Triss, she returned the smile. Wroteger lumbered after him and grinned mischievously at Cynric. Soon the five of them started the trek Kranduim the nearest major city. The cobbled roads made walking trivial and a cool breeze drove off any midday heat.

“Why Kranduim boss?” Cynric asked.

“It’s the closest major city, and I’m sure we can transport to the capital there.” Enroth explained, “If we have any chance of finding info about the iron crown there then we must go, Wroteger’s explanation was… vague at best.” The Beastkin mercenary shrugged indifferently. “Anyway we need to diffuse a war between the Beastkin and The kingdom. I’m certain it’s what the cultists want.”

“Mongs.” Cynric added, getting no reaction from the others he kept quiet.

“I’ve been their once” Declan added.

“What really?” Triss asked excitedly.

“Uh… yeah” he said breaking under the pressure of the others.

“Speak Boy.” Cynric said slapping him on the back.

To Triss’s surprise he did, “Yeah, before I met Triss I moved around a lot I stayed in Kranduim for a few months. All I remember is that its not the best place to stay, they have a thing against newcomers.”

“Good info, thanks Lan!” Cynric said.

“What did you call me?”

“Lan. Long ears over there calls you Dec, so I’ll call you Lan.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’m four hundred and twenty eight!” Triss grumbled.

Cynric grinning ignored the elf and went back to pestering Wroteger about the Iron crown. This caused concern for the other as why would someone as unpredictable as him want to know more about a powerful relic.

“So it contains the power of the gods and any mortal who wears it is technically a god.” Cynric asked interested for once, a surprise to the others.

“You get magical power equivalent to a goddess… sort of. I’m not sure if the gods have other stuff they can do as well so I guess not.” Wroteger tapped the hilt of his sword impatiently.

“Even guys?” gods had only ever consisted of females and all throughout history, woman of great power, mostly elves had ascended to godhood.

However many were forgotten therefore creating forgotten gods who returned to the world in weaker states to re-establish themselves as a religion or obtain an item of great magical power so they could re-ascend, if they fail to do either of these they cease to exist.

“I Doubt that” Wroteger replied, hearing this Cynric stoked his chin thoughtfully.

“What concerns me is that such an item exists, I mean c’mon it’s obviously dangerous if it falls in the wrong hands.” The outlaw looked around at everyone’s confused gazes. “What? Am I not allowed to be concerned for the state of the world and the madness that envelops it?”

“No I just took you for an idiot.” Triss joked without mirth.

“Fuck off long ears.”

“Shut up you two!” Enroth snapped “We have been walking for hours and all I hear is you two bickering. If you’re going to act like children I will treat you like children!”

“Calm down boss we are just warming up to each other is all.” Cynric responded gesturing for Enroth to relax.

Declan kept his head down and kept walking on ahead with Wroteger, while Enroth chewed out Triss and Cynric.

“-not only that Cynric, I know you paid for last night’s tab but it cost everything. You drink way too much, you harassed the bar maids making that stingy asshole of an innkeep to charge us more, and know we are broke thanks to you.” Enroth faced Triss, he studied her carefully. He was not used to having such disobedient people around, the extra stress was taking its toll. “You’re no better Triss you two just provoke each other-”

A yell from up ahead broke Enroth’s tirade and the three of them rushed to find out what was happening. The Beastkin had his weapon out and Declan stood in terrified awe pointing at something in the trees to the left of the road.

~~

“What. Do you mean Bazinet is nothing but ashes!?”

“My apologies your highness we tried to get the information to you as quick as possible.”

“And what about Enroth, where is he?”

He paused for a second, “H…His whereabouts are unknown your highness, however your brother was not found amongst the bodies.”

The king sighed with relief, which got a questioning look from the messenger. “Knowing that crafty rat he would’ve slipped out. I’m sure we will hear from him again.”

“And if not?”

“Then so be it.” His voice was stern, devoid of emotion. It sent chills down the messenger’s back, he slipped into the shadows, returning to his duties.

“Shit. What is she doing, a Beastkin attack, we declared peace no less than 3 years ago. Dammit Estret I thought you had your Empire under control.” The King stood and paced around the Throne room. Brooding as to what in world was happening.


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Fri Jul 24, 2020 8:14 pm
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WaterSpout wrote a review...



Hello, brotherGeo. I'd like to say this is an interesting story, though I haven't gotten to the first parts since I was looking around and found this one first. And even though HarryHardy has already reviewed and said most of the important plot developments and corrections, I'd still want to say a few more things.
Grammar:
There are many instances where there is not the necessary punctuation, and it looks as if you were in a hurry writing it. There's nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it can make it a little hard to read.

“What why me” Triss whined

I don’t want to look for that fool he pisses me off.”

I can understand it, it's just the lack of punctuation can make it seem harder. So just try and work on that.
“Cynric has some good quality’s Triss, just give him some time.” Declan added softly.

quality's -> qualities
When a person is speaking and you're quoting them, you should end it in a comma, not a period.
“She assumes almost everything about a person by first impressions.” Declan said.

“That’s a pretty impatient way of seeing people, especially for an elf.” Enroth remarked.

There are more, but I think you get the point.

And when you are making a list, you should also have a comma even with the word and.
The powers of healing, light and nature had saved her, Declan and countless others they had partied up with.

The dead man had an axe in his hand, a money pouch and a wanted poster of Cynric.

Apparently I fight like a demon.”
<- introductory phrase, also a quotation mark in the beginning
All these need a comma

The two made their way out of the forest as they walked past ancient tree’s in silence Triss admired their grandeur while Cynric kicked at the dirt in impatience.

trees doesn't need an apostrophe.
By means of magical power yeah, I’m not sure if the gods have other stuff they can do.”

You could shorten that to through. I don't know, just a thought. Of course you don't have to take it.
Last one:
The Beastkin had his weapon out and Declan stood in a terrified awe pointing at something in the trees to the left of the road.

The sentence doesn't need a.
I guess that is it. Except for the last part:
"...Dammit, Estret I thought you had your Empire under control.”
[/quote]
I was sort of expecting him to shout it, unless he is. And I agree with HarryHardy, on why there is no reaction to his brother not being found.
Anyways, that is all I wanted to say, feel free to take what you think is best, I'm gonna take a break. But before that, overall, this is yet another good chapter(or part) that I enjoyed. Of course, I haven't read the first few chapter(or parts) but I believe they're just as good.
With caution,

WaterSpout




brotherGeo says...


Thanks for the review!



WaterSpout says...


No problem!



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Fri Jul 17, 2020 5:20 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And this story is updated finally. I was waiting...*doing happy dance*

First Impression: Oooh...I see a little bit of a group of heroes forming here. And wow...very evil of you to leave us on a cliffhanger like that. Also a sneak peak into what's going on with the king. That should be interesting.

Anyway let's get to it,

“We know you have magic that can use nature Triss. There is no point in denying it.”

“Cynric has some good quality’s Triss, just give him some time.” Declan added softly. She sighed and looked at him, and then to Enroth.


Oh dear

“She assumes almost everything about a person by first impressions.” Declan said.

“That’s a pretty impatient way of seeing people, especially for an elf.” Enroth remarked.

“Still did anything happen between them?” The Beastkin repeated.


Well that's quite the interesting addition to Triss' character.

Where the hell did he stumble off to? Triss thought. Last night’s rain had slowed to a steady drizzle, and the ground was muddy. Perfect for animal and human tracks alike if they hadn’t been washed away of course. Several deer and another large creature with 3 legs and hand like footprints had passed the trail recently, there were no signs of any human footprints. Triss bitter that she had to look for that drunken fool cursed softly, "I don’t know why I’m doing this." she muttered to nobody in particular “Damn that Duke, damn it all.”


Nice description there.

Unable to find a trace of Cynric she blindly pressed deeper into the forest which would be a bad idea for anyone other than an elf that could bend nature to her will. Annoyed that she had to resort to magic Triss chanted something incomprehensible, the forest breathed in response. The trickle of water in the veins of the trees, the animals chittering she heard it all. Mana rippled and turned around Triss’s slender form, folding onto itself the distortion fell low and burst out in every direction.


Love the description of magic too. It sounds really interesting.

Switching his attention back to the corpse he gazed at it. "Sorry buddy I don’t recognize you, but I'm not that easy to kill no matter how famous you are." He said in an almost apologetic tone “never attack me when I’m drunk. Apparently I fight like a demon.” He chuckled softly a hint of regret lingered in his tone.


Come on Cynric. You have to be more responsible than this. What if you end up murdering one of your travel companions?

“Good info, thanks Lan!” Cynric said.


I am loving the banter back and forth among this group so far. It sounds pretty natural.

A yell from up ahead broke Enroth’s tirade and the three of them rushed to find out what was happening. The Beastkin had his weapon out and Declan stood in a terrified awe pointing at something in the trees to the left of the road.


That's a nice little cliffhanger there.

He paused for a second, “H…His whereabouts are unknown your highness, however your brother was not found amongst the bodies.”

“Shit. What is she doing, a Beastkin attack, we declared peace no less than 3 years ago. Dammit Estret I thought you had your Empire under control.” The King stood and paced around the Throne room. Brooding as to what in world was happening.


But of a surprising lack of reaction to the news that his brother is missing. He immediately thinks of the invasion forgetting about his brother. I'd expect more of a reaction here.

Aand that's it for this one.

Overall: Another great chapter. This one didn't have any of those hard to read large paragraphs which is a plus. I love this group that you've created. Their conversation feels pretty natural and I am loving it so far.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




brotherGeo says...


Cheers Harry!



KateHardy says...


:D




cron
And don't forget it's hydrate or diedrate
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