Published January 28, 2011
The house is not a home
When the people living there
aren't really there.
When the mother,
the father, the son
and daughter
shift in and out of existence
with the blink of an eye.
The house is not a home.
The mother is a nice woman,
who smiles and takes bubblebaths
and makes meals for her family.
She is caring, and she means much to them.
The house is not a home.
The daughter takes after her mother.
Being sweet and kind,
she can brighten your day
in a single moment.
But the house is not a home,
The living ones
are they really there?
The son is a humorous child
taking after his father
but he still clings to his mother.
He and the girl might fight
from time,
to time,
but it is clear
they still love each other.
The house is not a home.
And the father, he drinks
but still cares
for his family.
And is it so wrong to be wrong,
in this world of rights?
Am I so wrong to do wrong,
when they live their lives
and I do not?
Are they even living?
Are they even there?
How would I know?
I should know.
I killed them all,
didn't I?
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139,487 Literary Works • 672,577 Reviews
Thanks! I tried to create a central theme that would stick throughout, then completely change it while still keeping the original theme.
Hmm. I like this poem. Its a bit confusing, but I think I got it. (:
At first I thought the poem would be about how the family was living a lie, that they were fake. One of those poems were everyone seems all happy and cheerful but in reality aren't.
And then I read on and you said
Are they even living?
Are they even there?
How would I know?
I should know.
I killed them all,
didn't I?
I changed my thinking from thinking about it too deeply to taking it literally; the house was not a home to a family.
Maybe that was just how I interperted it, but hey, thats poetry. (:
Good job, keep up the good work!(:
i barely got it but i kinda caught the gist that he poem was actually a narration from inside the mind of a killer. it was great but a little lacking it had me confused a bit because the poem contradicted the title but i guess that's what made it great.
but it is clear
they still love each other
Whoa, I love the end of this poem:
Wonderful, not extremely, complicatedly detailed, but just enough. Awesome!
Keep writing,
Alzora
This is really good....
I always wanted to write something like this which dealt with family and home but here i see you already wrote it.
I must say that it was very keenly executed right from the mother to the father. I just kept on reading and i couldn't even realize that it ended.... My house is similar to this that is why i guess i wandered off in my thoughts.... But i could not understand who is this "I" here.... I just loved this piece....
Keep up the great work, BRO.
PM me for anything...
Hey,
Great piece! Very creepy, in a Stepford Wife way and kind of mindrapes you for a bit, which I suppose was your point.
I like this. At first I was like, 'Aw this is gonna suck and I'm going to have to write a review and blabber about nonsense' and then I read it and was like, 'Holy llama, this is good!'. I think that at times you make spaces for no reason, like when you have the father stanza. You didn't have to put a space between 'but still cares' and 'for his family'. It kinda seems awkward, ya know? I really liked the begining stanza and that's what brought me from Point A (Aw, this is gonna suck) to Point Q (Holy llama, this is good). I loved the end but I think that the 'I should know, after all' sounded a little awkward. Maybe take out the 'after all' and put in something else.
~Jas