Days of Ache

I miss you so much that I think I am losing whatever sanity I had left. Of course it changes day to day- sometimes I am given the strength to cope, to continue on.

Then there are the days of ache. The days of complete and utter pain. Where nothing, not even the good memories of you, the memories I cling to, and cherish with all my life, can bring me hope.

You didn't deserve your fate, you know that, don't you? You must know how much we loved you, still love you, even though you're gone. You're not physically here, but you never leave.

What haunts me most, is the day that I entered the funeral home in my plain black dress that was long it nearly skimmed the floor. I walked towards the front, towards your polished casket, and we- your siblings- all held onto each other for dear life as we looked upon your pale, lifeless face.

The saddest part, brother, is that you'd never looked so peaceful. I know now that you were suffering, and I wish so badly I could turn back the clock and be a bigger part of your life. I would give anything to see you just one more time, and tell you how much I love you.

Its been so long, and sometimes I can look back upon the times spent with you and smile, and remember what a wonderful person you were.

But days like today, these are the days of ache. The days in which all I can do is hold my framed picture of you tight, cry, and pray for the hope that I know you would've wanted me to have.

I am in no way going to review this because its dedicated to your brother and the fact that i understand your pain in dealing with death. I lost my daddy more than eleven years ago and since have written several poem about him. God bless you and increase you. Be encouraged, you are not alone.