[pre]Beyond the cities with no names and beyond the trees that tangle me so beyond the roots that ignore me beyond the stars that light me home and beyond the planets no one sees beyond the heaven that knows not of me Beyond the hells that beg for me Beyond the abyss I call my home- is my soul for no eyes to see[/pre]
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It's a poem, just in a different format. Since does poetry have rules? Screw the rules, kids, they were meant to be broken anyway.
But that doesn't excuse this poem from being drivel. God, since when do cliches dominate our lives? Write some from your heart, something so important to you that it will drive you mad if you do not get it out of your head, not this crap that takes you half a minute to type up. If it doesn't threaten to kill you, it isn't worth recording. It should become a chant in your head, a mantra that repeats itself without cessation... truly you will lose yourself and your mind in it if it is not brought into tangible being.
If it truly means something to you, make it mean something to us through the sheer force of your will.
it wasn't a poem. period... Many of our excellent critiquers will not even look at this because its all together.. feel free to pm me once it is more than a run on sentence.
where the separate lines??this would be nice if u would break the loong sentence ino small ones. try it!!
Good ideas here, but the way it's written it's kind of like one big long sentence. I would organize it in more of a poetry format, with line breaks.