Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
I can't stand the thought of loosing you.
There's all too much pain I'm being put
through.
My tears are deep and very painful.
Looking at your picture every morning
gives me energy, but also puts me in a
melancholy mood...
Grandmother I just wanted to say that
I love you!
This pain has stricken my only heart.
It hit me hard like a dart and now its bleeding
left behind.
I wish we could be toguether like we were,
but that's impossible.
When I'm shattered and broken you're always there.
I miss you so much !
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141,741 Literary Works • 675,656 Reviews
Hi Roxy here!
First off Im very sorry to hear about your grandmother! But it is lovely to see a poem written in her memory!
"Grandmother I just wanted to say that
I love you!"
These were my favorite lines, they were so full of beautiful honest emotion!
If I had one thing to say it would be maybe to describe what your Grandmother was like? What she loved, her little quirks, what you did together, what you miss about her, put the great things about her into this poem!
Other than that I thought it as a very sweet but sad poem!
Keep on writing!
This is a great poem. It's extremely sad to hear about your Grandmother, my condolences. Death, could possible be the worst thing in our lives. Its everywhere. It is also very sad and a hard thing to go through.
But, I'm here to give this lovely poem a good review.
Beside some of the spelling errors, it was mostly fine.
"I can't stand the thought of loosing you.
There's all too much pain I'm being put
through."
I was captured by the first two-three lines, that start is something you always need to watch for, but you did a great job.
"Grandmother I just wanted to say that
I love you!"
This part was really pulling at my heart strings, I loved it.
"This pain has stricken my only heart.
It hit me hard like a dart and now its bleeding
left behind."
I know this, horrible feel. Its one of the worst feelings in this world. And you brought it across just wonderfully.
"I wish we could be toguether like we were,"
This was the only spelling mistake I found, "toguether" It happens to that best of us! "Together." as good as new.
This poem, as I said before, is just beautifully written with lots of meaning. And its from your heart, they are alway the best.
Continue making beautiful writing.
~Winter
...what a beautiful poem. I am extremely sorry for your loss. While reading this, I hold back tears, thinking of what could happen to my grandmother. May the Lord guide her soul into heaven, and help you come with your loss. But, if I put aside the true soul of your poem, it was well written, and I would read more of your work. Best of wishes- Andy