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my love

by bolanle


I would have closed my eyes in order not to recognise your love,but all you have shown me is boundless love.I long to view your heart through my eyes because i am totally in love with the way you look at me.I cannot not explain what i am feeling because the reason i love you is unknown and cant be explained.Although i hate the way you flirt with other girls.You will always be my first love.Lets be together till pigs fly.But what more can i say '' I Love You''


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151 Reviews


Points: 388
Reviews: 151

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Wed May 21, 2014 10:00 pm
Pinkiegirl13 wrote a review...



Hi, bolanle. This is your reviewer, pinkie. I am here to review this story that you wrote if you don't mind.

I like this story. It is very romantic and sweet. However, it have too many error. Many of them need to be capitalize and not spaced out after the period. Some of them doesn't make sense neither. It made me confused on the sentences that you wrote. I think you need to gave out more details on the person that you love. I hope you don't think I am rube because I am not.

I really like it. I am very enjoyed it.

Keep on writing!

This was your reviewer, pinkie. And these are your review.



Random avatar
bolanle says...


thanks.i will make the corrections


Random avatar
bolanle says...


thanks.i will make the corrections


Random avatar
bolanle says...


thanks.i will make the corrections



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5 Reviews


Points: 318
Reviews: 5

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Wed May 21, 2014 12:02 am
calondra1024 wrote a review...



I like the concept of this. But, I wonder if since you said it was supposed to be a poem that it be more in a poem format of some sort. Also, you have some grammar errors like not capitalizing I and not spacing after a period. Some of the sentences don't make sense either. They sound like they are being ran together kinda. It could also be better if you added more detail about the emotions this person is having. It's clear that this person loves somebody but it's not very descriptive on how they feel. I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense. I would just like to be able to feel the same way the character does, or at least come close to it. Right now I don't feel much common emotion at all.



Random avatar
bolanle says...


okay.i will correct the errors



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416 Reviews


Points: 775
Reviews: 416

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Tue May 20, 2014 11:53 pm
Willard wrote a review...



First of all, welcome to YWS!!! My name is Strange, and chances are that you'll either like me or hate me. Like me for what ever reason or dislike me over being cynical.
I'm here to review this poem on a rainy Tuesday.
First of all, this needs Stanzas. Most poems need stanzas, and this is one of those poems.
You need to capitalize after periods, which isn't valid. This is going somewhere, but its mistakes are holding it back. I don't want to be mean, but this is a sub-par work. You can edit it if you want, but that's your choice.
Also the sudden break of the poem at the end.

..i love you so much

You lack punctuation and it doesn't hold up the piece well.
I can't grade this, but this was a good first effort.



Random avatar
bolanle says...


okay




Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
— Holden Caulfield