Dear

I agree with PeaceAloha10! This would make a great song! I really liked it though it was a bit sad, kind of. I mean, I get it and the point to it, but still... I don't know, it somehoe seemed almost lighthearted and full of regret at the same time. (I know, that dosen't make sense, sorry.)

The only thing that stuck out as far as mistakes go was that you mispelled the word "Secret." on the last line, but I think someone already pointed that out. So, with my opinion stated... I bid thee farewell.

P.S. If you, or someone you know can sing, I really suggest turning into a song, or trying to. Just to see how it sounds

i liked it alot. it sounded a lot like lyrics to a song! it would be awesome it was. 2 thumbs up

Hey!! I really liked this, strangely. I guess the mood I'm getting is being in a relationship you know you're not supposed to be in...and everyone looks at you like you're stupid and immature, while only you feel what is really going on. Am I right?
Anyways...let's review.

Can you believe,
how we deceived?
How no one saw through,
to the real me and you?
(except each other dear.)

Does no one care?
While they all stare,
we're unwanted, hated,
and we’re all getting jaded.
(or at least I am, dear.)

Why do we need this?
why this, our only wish.
To hold, to love, and kiss,
with no one for us to miss.
(no more friends, dear.)

What is it that we need?
The warnings we did not heed?
Can’t you see?
it’s not meant to be.
(no matter what we tell ourselves dear.)

So tonight could be our last,
we could put this in the past,
although we won’t, I know,
but this secrete we can‘t show.
(For your safety, dear.)