Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Okay this sounds like a simple little heist story where the whole thing is just wayyy too convenient but then its a short story and maybe it was played for laughs anyway so I'm not going to point that out again besides mention it right here. Other than it flowed quite well and was pretty easy to understand so overall it was great.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Everything was working beautifully. He had gotten past the guards without them giving him even a second glance. Now all he had to do was change clothes and start looking. So he found a hidden spot, hid the cart, and changed into some servant clothes that he had found on a line just outside the palace walls.
Fairly standard opening but it does its job. Gets us into those heist situation pretty quick and gets us invested in it.
Apparently King Andro doesn’t like seeing laundry inside his mighty fortress. Gink chuckled silently to himself, despite the trouble he would get into if he was apprehended. The thought of the king surveying his palace only to find wet laundry and long clotheslines was just too funny. But as a troop of soldiers marched by he sobered up.
Definitely a very funny image there.
The basements and wine cellars had nothing in them accept mildew, old furniture, fine liquor, and the dark holes that led to the dungeons. And though he should have made a thorough search of those as well, something inside of him shuddered at the thought of going down into those deep, dark holes. The sounds of rats and the occasional piercing scream did nothing to coax him to look there. He decided that he would only venture down there if he could absolutely not find the artifact anywhere else.
Sounds a little quick here to gloss past so many locations without any description whatsoever buts it s not a huge issue considering that this is indeed a short story.
On the next level were the mages’ secret laboratories and sample rooms. As the mages where only worried about other mages coming in, they had only erected barriers against people with magic. Non-magic people such as servants and maids could get in, but if they stole something they would be found and tortured, sometimes to death. The mages just figured that the guards would keep everything else non-magical out. They had underestimated Gink. Disappointingly, the artifact fitting Youga’s description was not in any of the rooms. There were many other curiosities, but not the silver armband he was looking for. He proceeded to the next floor up.
Very irresponsible mages right there. And also a really nice subtle way of revealing what this dude is after. It was nicely positioned there.
It was not in the servants’ quarters or the kitchens either. Although, he did manage to lift a few bags of gold from the servants’ quarters and some bread and cheese from the kitchen. No one bothered him as long as he looked like he belonged there.
I guess there are enough servants in their that the faces would not be recognized individually.
“I overheard Andro talking to himself about it.” The red-head started when he glanced at the clock at the end of the corridor. “But let’s hurry. We don’t want to be late for supper.” As they walked away, Gink was in shock at his good luck. They had basically told him how to steal the artifact!
No kidding Gink. They might as well have recited an instruction manual instead.
Aaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Pretty good story. Very simple plot and outline and it stuck to those really well. There were no unnecessary info dumps and the character seemed pretty realistic. The whole thing was paced quite well except that one little part I pointed out. Overall it was pretty fun to read.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 253363
Reviews: 4096
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