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Young Writers Society



Gink

by blackstorm


Everything was working beautifully. He had gotten past the guards without them giving him even a second glance. Now all he had to do was change clothes and start looking. So he found a hidden spot, hid the cart, and changed into some servant clothes that he had found on a line just outside the palace walls.

Apparently King Andro doesn’t like seeing laundry inside his mighty fortress. Gink chuckled silently to himself, despite the trouble he would get into if he was apprehended. The thought of the king surveying his palace only to find wet laundry and long clotheslines was just too funny. But as a troop of soldiers marched by he sobered up.

I need to focus. Now that he was inside the palace walls he had to concentrate on the job. And now, he lamented, comes the hard, boring part. And so Gink began his grueling search of the castle. He started in the basements and slowly worked his way up.

The basements and wine cellars had nothing in them accept mildew, old furniture, fine liquor, and the dark holes that led to the dungeons. And though he should have made a thorough search of those as well, something inside of him shuddered at the thought of going down into those deep, dark holes. The sounds of rats and the occasional piercing scream did nothing to coax him to look there. He decided that he would only venture down there if he could absolutely not find the artifact anywhere else.

On the next level were the mages’ secret laboratories and sample rooms. As the mages where only worried about other mages coming in, they had only erected barriers against people with magic. Non-magic people such as servants and maids could get in, but if they stole something they would be found and tortured, sometimes to death. The mages just figured that the guards would keep everything else non-magical out. They had underestimated Gink. Disappointingly, the artifact fitting Youga’s description was not in any of the rooms. There were many other curiosities, but not the silver armband he was looking for. He proceeded to the next floor up.

It was not in the servants’ quarters or the kitchens either. Although, he did manage to lift a few bags of gold from the servants’ quarters and some bread and cheese from the kitchen. No one bothered him as long as he looked like he belonged there.

He had just gotten up to the mages’ quarters when he noticed two of the mages whispering in the corner. Curious, he crept closer to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Did you hear?” the large, red-headed mage whispered. “The artifact got moved to King Andro’s suite for extra protection.”

“Really?” the skinnier, blonde mage whispered back. “The protections we twelve mages of the council put around it weren’t enough?”

“Apparently not.” The red-headed one shook his head. “Well, nothing will happen to it now. Andro’s suite is completely covered in spells and wards. Nothing could get in there… except…” He paused, looking as if he couldn’t bear to tell the secret.

I bet he’s just milking it, trying to make himself seem important, Gink thought, as the blonde mage leaned in closer. Although, I’d better get a little closer too… just to hear this secret. Gink quickly darted to a spot behind a statue of a two-headed bull god that was closer to the two mages.

“Except what?” the blonde mage whispered conspiratorially.

“The air ducts,” the red-head said proudly.

“How did you find that out?”

“I overheard Andro talking to himself about it.” The red-head started when he glanced at the clock at the end of the corridor. “But let’s hurry. We don’t want to be late for supper.” As they walked away, Gink was in shock at his good luck. They had basically told him how to steal the artifact!

Well now I know, he thought. Now I just have to get into the air ducts and find my way to King Andro’s room. It took him a while to find a duct in his reach and out of the way of the servants, but eventually he got into the air ducts and slowly started to crawl towards, he hoped, the room of King Andro and the precious artifact.


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4096 Reviews


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Fri Aug 07, 2020 10:03 am
KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: Okay this sounds like a simple little heist story where the whole thing is just wayyy too convenient but then its a short story and maybe it was played for laughs anyway so I'm not going to point that out again besides mention it right here. Other than it flowed quite well and was pretty easy to understand so overall it was great.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Everything was working beautifully. He had gotten past the guards without them giving him even a second glance. Now all he had to do was change clothes and start looking. So he found a hidden spot, hid the cart, and changed into some servant clothes that he had found on a line just outside the palace walls.


Fairly standard opening but it does its job. Gets us into those heist situation pretty quick and gets us invested in it.

Apparently King Andro doesn’t like seeing laundry inside his mighty fortress. Gink chuckled silently to himself, despite the trouble he would get into if he was apprehended. The thought of the king surveying his palace only to find wet laundry and long clotheslines was just too funny. But as a troop of soldiers marched by he sobered up.


Definitely a very funny image there.

The basements and wine cellars had nothing in them accept mildew, old furniture, fine liquor, and the dark holes that led to the dungeons. And though he should have made a thorough search of those as well, something inside of him shuddered at the thought of going down into those deep, dark holes. The sounds of rats and the occasional piercing scream did nothing to coax him to look there. He decided that he would only venture down there if he could absolutely not find the artifact anywhere else.


Sounds a little quick here to gloss past so many locations without any description whatsoever buts it s not a huge issue considering that this is indeed a short story.

On the next level were the mages’ secret laboratories and sample rooms. As the mages where only worried about other mages coming in, they had only erected barriers against people with magic. Non-magic people such as servants and maids could get in, but if they stole something they would be found and tortured, sometimes to death. The mages just figured that the guards would keep everything else non-magical out. They had underestimated Gink. Disappointingly, the artifact fitting Youga’s description was not in any of the rooms. There were many other curiosities, but not the silver armband he was looking for. He proceeded to the next floor up.


Very irresponsible mages right there. And also a really nice subtle way of revealing what this dude is after. It was nicely positioned there.

It was not in the servants’ quarters or the kitchens either. Although, he did manage to lift a few bags of gold from the servants’ quarters and some bread and cheese from the kitchen. No one bothered him as long as he looked like he belonged there.


I guess there are enough servants in their that the faces would not be recognized individually.

“I overheard Andro talking to himself about it.” The red-head started when he glanced at the clock at the end of the corridor. “But let’s hurry. We don’t want to be late for supper.” As they walked away, Gink was in shock at his good luck. They had basically told him how to steal the artifact!


No kidding Gink. They might as well have recited an instruction manual instead.

Aaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Pretty good story. Very simple plot and outline and it stuck to those really well. There were no unnecessary info dumps and the character seemed pretty realistic. The whole thing was paced quite well except that one little part I pointed out. Overall it was pretty fun to read.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




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Thu Nov 08, 2007 1:56 pm
kshsj777 wrote a review...



"The thought of the king surveying his palace only to find wet laundry and long clotheslines was just too funny."

shouldn't "and" be "on"?

"The protections we twelve mages of the council put around it weren’t enough?”

This sentence above is worded awkwardly.

"Our protection isn't enough?" or something like that would be better.

It seems too convienient for Gink to overhear the conversation and know exactly where to find the artifact.

Other than that, it was good.





It had a perfectly round door like a porthole, painted green, with a shiny yellow brass knob in the exact middle. The door opened on to a tube-shaped hall like a tunnel: a very comfortable tunnel without smoke, with panelled walls, and floors tiled and carpeted, provided with polished chairs, and lots and lots of pegs for hats and coats—the hobbit was fond of visitors. The tunnel wound on and on, going fairly but not quite straight into the side of the hill —The Hill, as all the people for many miles round called it—and many little round doors opened out of it, first on one side and then on another.
— JRR Tolkien