Nightmare Hall-- Prologue-- Rough Draft

~~Mmkay, so I know people don't like it when you put rough drafts up here so, at the risk of popcorn being thrown at my head *ducks to be safe* I have. Mostly because the style's a little weird, especially for me, and I wanna see what other people think. I kinda like it- I know it's vague and needs more developing action-wise and made clearer- right now I want more comments on like the style- whatever it would be called...because like right now I'm gonna print this off and go over it with a fine tooth comb and you haven't seen how brutal I can be until you've seen one of my own things that I've ripped to shreds...~~ *still ducking, runs off into the background*

I saw saw hope first reflected in your eyes

[feet tapping to the swift rhythm of the song pumping from speakers, draining our oxygen, pushing us along the dirt road to where the sun died on the horizon]

That was where you told me our hope was. "Turn on the ac," and the precious silence was broken. No, that's not right.

[it wasn't quiet, i remember the music hanging between us]

I don't remember it ever feeling as quiet as it was then. Every second of our lives flirted in the air stifling air, thickening it, and we knew with the quiet understanding born in quiet places that thise dash to Las Vegas was our one chance of finding hope.

[for the first half an hour we were quiet, listening to the music, studying the emptiness ahead that we sought to puncture]

Somewhere out there was Las Vegas. It was further away than our twenty bucks take us, but we thought somehow our dream would be enough to get us there. The music and the dream both.

[they became the same thing, somehow, at least for me. the music carried the dream through my veins, through my blood, and part of me began singing then and hasn't stopped.]

That part of me is still there when I close my eyes- where my hand is in yours, and your eyes say, "Let's get away, let's get away," as we eat away the miles.

[either that or they eat away at us]

Afterwards, we had nothing to show for it but memories of sleeping in a gas station parking lot, lulled to sleep by cows moaning somewhere off in the black.

When we came back, you were dragging your feet like you were trodding towards a casket that held your lover. I didn't come back down for a while, and I'm still singing, somewhere inside of me.

[i never saw, "Let's get away," in your eyes again, even though i looked for it, time after time]

My hope is still where it was, driving, the sun dying around us, music hanging in the heated air- and I'm still singing inside, and that song still carries me toward my hope.

[i saw hope last a reflection in your eyes]

All I'm seeing is that sign, hanging out of the shallow hole you dug for it in the dying lawn, as a joke- everyone that passes it can see it and knows to keep driving, to not stop at the rundown apartment complex.

[Welcome to Nightmare Hall]