i am her
the girl who tries
you know her
she walks in your halls too
her hair pulled back
her shirt tucked
her steps
carefully timed
to the beat of her treacherous heart
her grades
as polished
as the lies that slip off her tongue
she is neat
she is clean
she is good
she smiles
with tears in her eyes
and laughs with her torturers
and though she hates
what she has become
she does not know
who she is
without the mantle of expectations
on her fragile shoulders
This was such a relatable poem. I really liked the first two lines, but some punctuation would be good. (I know you've already gotten that comment.) Either way, the flow of the poem was really good! This should get a lot of recognition, so snaps to you!
Hey, bellathebookworm. 
Alright. First of all, I like this poem. Its simplicity makes the message delivering effective. I usually comment on the lack of punctuations in a poem, simply because it can be confusing to readers as opposed to being a grammar Nazi, but I think it works here. The sentence structure largely here doesn't need punctuations to be clear, and so there's no problem in terms of readability.
i am her
the girl who tries
the girl who tries,
she is me
her hair pulled back
her shirt tucked
her steps
carefully timed
to the beat of her treacherous heart
she is neat
she is clean
she is good
this is actually decent.
even though you don't bring anything new or refreshing in the poem, you manage to step around all the obvious sayings and instead, bring something original for the idea you're presenting. there are some lines that don't flow that well ("she smiles with tears in her eyes and laughs with her torturers") but other lines such as the final stanza that does. it brings an interesting poetic perspective to something beaten like a dead horse. i was expecting something that i wouldn't enjoy , but you actually proved me wrong.
thanks.
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