Published October 24, 2025
Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.
On the outskirts of the town was a small cottage. Normally, it was quiet, inhabited by only a girl and her mother, but tonight was different. There were many cars in the yard, as well as a few bikes, but none were the mother's. That car was parked right in front of the loudest bar in town, and its owner was likely inside, surrounded by shot glasses and empty bottles. The whole town knew of her addiction, but neither the bartender nor the owner could turn down a face as sad as hers.
Betty was usually a quiet girl, preferring to spend her time alone, but with her mother gone again and the events of the day, she figured a small party wouldn't hurt. She called all of her friends, who then called their friends, and soon the house was full. Betty only hoped that nobody had been cruel enough to invite James.
-
James had just heard about the party. His friends urged him not to go, but he could not bring himself to stay away from her.
He drove a vintage Ford Mustang, which he thought of as an analogy to himself - loud but reliable. His father had bought it as a present for senior year. It was expensive and unique, meaning that most knew who was there when it drove by. By now, half the town knew what he had done, and he got several ugly stares from passing people.
“What are you going to tell her, then?” asked Charlie. James, on his way to the party, had called his best friend for advice.
“Just that Inez lied. She's made up stuff before, so Betty's gonna believe it. How do you think Inez knew, anyway?”
“Honestly, who knows. You don't exactly have the best reputation, so maybe an educated guess.”
“I can't believe you encouraged me to do this,” grumbled James.
“I was right, you know. You're too good for Betty. Just leave her,” replied Charlie.
“Even if I leave her, I can't have Augustine! She's in California. I need one of them.”
“Okay, whatever. But going to this party is not a good idea,” Charlie warned.
“You're not helping. I need this,” said James. He pressed end call on his phone, and Charlie
went silent.
The road was dark and quiet, and it only amplified his loneliness. He knew what he'd done was wrong, but it felt right in the moment. And it was Betty's fault, wasn't it? Maybe if she wasn't so quite and boring, thought James, he would've stayed loyal to her. He couldn't bring himself to beak up with her, though. He liked the power he felt he had over her.
As he pulled up to her house, he felt more and more confident. He was a beacon of sunlight, the only bright thing in her boring, bland world. She'd have to take him back, she had no choice.
-
"FUCK JAMES! FUCK JAMES! FUCK JAMES!" her friends all shouted in unison. Betty appreciated the gesture, but couldn't bring herself to join in. She was tired, tired of this relationship, tired of him. She wanted it over, and she wanted to move on. She halfheartedly grabbed a shot, and downed it to her friend's cheering. It was water, but that didn't matter much. Betty didn't drink, as seeing what alcohol had done to her mother had turned her away forever.
Out of the corner of her eye, she almost thought she saw- no- he wouldn't be here. How dare he be here, ruin the one moment of what could be fun that she has with her friends.
The party quieted as more and more people turned to look his way. I guess he is here, then, thought Betty, come to be my savior as always. Thankfully, her friends gave him dirty looks as he walked up, but he didn't flinch. He looked disheveled, however, and it gave Betty a flicker of hope that perhaps she was cracking his ever-perfect exterior.
"Betty, I promise, I can explain," he said. "Inez lied, or at least didn't tell the whole truth, but the important part is that I would never do that to you. You believe me, right?"
Betty let the silence speak for her. She would not give him he satisfaction of a response.
"Please, Betty, I love you, I've always loved you. Can't we fix this? We were perfect together." He walks closer, a triumphant gleam in his eyes. "Kiss me already, tell me you love me."
She stood stoic. She would not yield.
He rushed upon her, pressing his lips to hers. It was no longer romantic, like any of their earlier kisses. Instead, it filled her with disgust.
She pushed him back, and pointed at his shocked face.
"Go fuck yourself, James. Go back to that other girl, who's obviously so much better than me. I don't want to see you again," said Betty.
"Fine. I hope you rot here alone." He stormed off, and all Betty could feel was relief that it was finally over.
-
"Augustine, come on, I need you," James muttered. It had started raining on his drive home, and the water poured over his windshield, making it hard to see.
The phone beeped, and a loud voice answered, "Hello? Who is this?"
"Augustine, it's me, James."
"Oh, hi! What's wrong? Are you coming back?"
"That's the thing, um, Betty wouldn't take me back, and, um, I really need someone right now, and I kinda figured I'd call you," James stuttred.
"Wait, James, who's Betty?" asked Augustine, her voice going cold.
Shit, shit shit shit shit SHIT, thought James, she doesn't know, and I told her, and she'll never want me and I don''t know-
"James, you better not be fucking lying to me. Who is she."
"She's just a girl, she isn't important, you-"
"So you were cheating on me, or I guess cheating on her then, since I'm obviously not important. I was your side piece, James. Go to hell."
The phone clicked off, and James couldn't even bring himself to step on the brake pedal as the car veered off of the road and into a tree.
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Hi! Purple here to do some reviewing, and hoping we can help improve eachother’s work, haha. Okay, so I saw the description of a fanfic formed from a Taylor Swift album, and I was too curious to NOT check it out. I am not disappointed: I haven’t listened to the whole album yet, but I am definitely picking up on some of the themes I’ve heard about. I also like the setup, and the amount of anticipation, with the drunk mom, the “secret” party, and James having this bad reputation. Then, exploring James’s relationships, the red flags are just all over the place, even before we finally get the context of him allegedly cheating on Betty. Him talking about control over her, and “needing one of them”, especially was diabolical. I also like how you immediately pan from James being confident he’ll get her back, to the chant from her friends, and Betty seeming to know better. The aggressive confrontation, the petty response to rejection, and the slip up with girl number 3 all really doubled down, and then the final line with him hitting a tree added this element of cosmic justice, right?
I think what I like most is how you were faithful to a lot of Taylor Swift music themes, like the unfaithful man and the feminist power, and how you managed to tell a lot in a relatively short story. It was satisfying to see Betty stand firm on her rejection, and even more satisfying to see Augistine learn the truth. Not even through Betty or Inez, but from James’s own mistake, and apparent inability to keep track of his own stories for all the girls he’s cheated. Very cool.
I think you could stand to add some more details to the setting, or maybe throw in some more context from this Inez girl, but it’s still good. Likewise, I have slightly mixed feelings about the crash: I do think the cosmic justice is cool, and the symbolism of the car he took pride in, and described as so much like himself, being wrecked. However, as much as James is clearly a piece of wet garbage, the implication that he could have died felt a little intense in proportion, especially since Taylor Swift’s music generally appeals to younger women, right? I honestly think a triple-rejection, followed by losing his car and maybe getting scuffed up (losing his “charm” in the process), would have been justice enough. However, that’s a really objective opinion, and the open-endedness of just saying “he crashed”, I imagine, is enough to let you take it the way the reader wants. The only other things I can think to mention would be two specific spots. First, “its owner was likely inside, surrounded by shot glasses and empty bottles”. At first, I thought “owner” meant the owner of the bar. That could be a mistake on my end, just being a dummy, but maybe “driver” instead would make it a little clearer. The second thing was really small. “Who is she”, toward the end, is missing a question mark, that’s all.
Anyway, with 5 being a “very adequate” score, I would give this a solid 6, maybe 6.5/10. I feel like it could use a little touch up here and there, but it is really good, and it accomplishes its purpose very well: it embodies the theme of Taylor’s music. Cool!
@Snoink @TheApatheticPurple tysm for the reviews! kinda going to explain the backstory bc that's why I didn't really go more into depth about the characters and the story. so basically what I've written is a small scene from the folklore story, which is the plot of her album folklore. james and betty, date, he cheats with augustine, inez tells her, he goes to her party, they break up, he goes to war, dies, and betty moves away, marries, and becomes a widow. there's a whole lot more in depth stuff but I really only wanted to write this small part (which sadly means it might be hard to understand by people who haven't listened to the album) but y'all are making me want to write a whole story. and yeah james crashing was kinda harsh but he dies anyway in the original story so it's fine anyway thanks again the feedback was so amazing!
Oh my goodness, hahaha. Cheaters gonna cheat. Still, I'm glad he got his comeuppance, lol.

)

Okay, so some thoughts! I am not sure which Taylor Swift song this is about because, quite honestly? Um... I don't really know much about Taylor Swift beyond the songs I hear on the radio. (It's nothing personal!)
Anyway, James is totally bad news and I am glad he lost both girls. Serves him right!
However, it was kind of confusing how you set up Betty's confrontation with James. The only thing we really knew at first was that Betty lived with a cottage with her mom (when you said the word cottage, honestly, I first thought this was a fairy tale, hahaha) and I just couldn't get a really good idea in my head about who Betty was or why she was important, beyond that she started a party and hoped James wasn't invited. But like, beyond that I just didn't get a sense of who she was as a person. And I would really like to get to know her a little bit more and get a sense of what she's thinking as her "small" party explodes into something much bigger into this out of control mess, all while she's panicking about whether James might come or not. So let us really understand her and help us get into her head more. She felt more like a prop to aid in James's doom... which is good but also let her be her own person too!
That would also help your other problem... James. By the time we get to James, we're not sure whether or not we ca trust him because we don't know who he is, other than Betty doesn't want to see him. But we don't actually know James cheated on her until he drives up to the party, and by then it kind of feels too late. Let us know sooner! That way, we'll empathize with Betty sooner.
(Also, would it be too much to ask to have more details on his Mustang?
Also, dropping that little detail about Inez... now I'm curious. Who is she and how is she important? I want more details!!!
Finally... I'm glad Augustine dumped him when she found out, lol. That was *chef's kiss*
Anyway, I hope that helps! If you have any questions, just feel free to ask!
@Snoink @TheApatheticPurple tysm for the reviews! kinda going to explain the backstory bc that's why I didn't really go more into depth about the characters and the story. so basically what I've written is a small scene from the folklore story, which is the plot of her album folklore. james and betty, date, he cheats with augustine, inez tells her, he goes to her party, they break up, he goes to war, dies, and betty moves away, marries, and becomes a widow. there's a whole lot more in depth stuff but I really only wanted to write this small part (which sadly means it might be hard to understand by people who haven't listened to the album) but y'all are making me want to write a whole story. and yeah james crashing was kinda harsh but he dies anyway in the original story so it's fine anyway thanks again the feedback was so amazing!