Random piece

by babymagic18

Published April 18, 2012

His arm came around her shoulders pulling her against him.

You have to be the strongest woman I know.

She leaned her head against his chest.

I'm not that strong, I did have my faults.

He kissed her head.

I never saw them.

She creased her brows tilting her head up at him.

You're smooth.

He smiled.

And you're wonderful. Thank you for giving me this time with you.

She smiled back at him.

I'd give you a million more if I could.

Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
TinyDancer
Review
TinyDancer wrote a review Review · Apr 18, 2012

Hi there!
This piece is so intimately crafted, and very sweet to read. It gives the reader a precious little glimpse into the personal lives of these two people. It was short, and while I really want to see more, I was kind of struck by the simplicity and sweetness of the short length. It's really up to you if you want to change that. I love it how it is, but there's infinite space for expansion here and I'm sure I'd love it if you expanded it too. I adored it but I do have one criticism: quotation marks. It took me two read-throughs to realize that some lines were actually spoken words. So I think maybe you should add those to clear up any further confusion. Aside from that, this was a wonderful little gem and I hope to see you do more with it.



Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickenson