E - Everyone

Bouncy Ball

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I bounced,

I changed,

My spots in vain,

I went up,

Never asking why.

We played

I fell

Under your spell,

Of boing,

And now I can't fly.

Don't you ever say,

I just bounced away,

I will be in the toy box.

I can't bounce or fly,

Not going up in the sky,

I will always bounce you.

I came in like a bouncy ball,

I can't even fly,

Just fall.

Then I crash into,

A blazing wall.

All you ever did was,

Bounce me.

You bounced me high up in the sky,

And now,

I'm too scared to come down.

I slowly turn,

I fell into an urn,

And now,

Glass is on the ground.

Don't you ever say,

I just bounced away,

I will be in the toy box,

I can't bounce or fly,

Not going up in the sky,

I will always bounce you.

UPDATE: I removed the random line. Thank you for the reveiws! Honestly I wasn't paying attention.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Disclaimer: I have not heard the original. With any luck I never will.
I looked up the original lyrics however and I must say you did a pretty good job. "All you ever did was bounce me" was probably your best converted lines because it changes the meaning so completely.
I found the line "While you're eating chicken thighs," slightly random and off-putting and I would recommend removing it if I may.
Also the original was separated into verses. I don't know why this isn't; again I would suggest it.
Other than that great job,
Take That You Fiend!

I know the lyrics by heart because it always comes on the radio. And you're right about that line, it's kinda rand!

random sorry it was a typo :)

User avatar
kelsey99
Review

I can't bounce or fly,

While you're eating chicken thighs,

I will always bounce you.

This part quite confused me. "While you're eating chicken thighs." I don't understand what chicken thighs have to do with any of this.


I came in like a bouncy ball,

This statement really entertained me. I am not to much of a fan of Miley since her whole change but I did like this.

I bounced,

I changed,

My spots in vain,

I went up,

Never asking why.


I really also liked the first sentence. Good job :)

I really have no idea what in the world i was writing myself, LOL

User avatar
EmeraldEyes
Review

Hi

I have to say, I really recognise the wording you have here as if it were part of some sort of song I hae previously heard:

'I changed,

My spots in vain,

I went up'

This just seems really familiar, but it is also really clever. I like.

Later you change to just descriving the properties of the ball and I think ou lose your effectiveness a bit, because it no longer becomes an allegory: 'Don't you ever say,

I just bounced away,

I will be in the toy box'

This work evolves, but kind of in a backwards way.

Interesting idea though. I thought I might find this amusing and I did. :)

User avatar
Stormcrow
Comment

I like the part about not saying you'd just bounce away. I got your reference to "I came in like a recking ball". Ha Ha! Very funny



Every time someone steps up and says who they are, the world becomes a better, more interesting place.
— Captain Raymond Holt