Published March 3, 2006
Fragrance beauty,
tender red,
dews that make a crystal bed,
on these soft petals,
of a rose,
The flower that I long adore. 
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140,567 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
intresting but too many commas but its good
short, sweet, beautiful. listen to bob - he's the king of rhythm.
Interesting; short but sweet, as they say.
all pieces have their merits and shortcomings.
So, this first line: very nice sounding, but - did you actually mean "fragrance"? After all, that doesn't make good grammatical sense. You can leave it like that if you feel it means something, but normally you would expect to see "Fragrant beauty" instead.It's a little hard to critique a piece that's got so little to write about, but that's alright
My suggestion for rhythm is just to get rid of the commas on the third and fouth lines, and to change that comma on the fifth line to a semi-colon.
Anyway, nice little moment of feeling
Hmmm... I like the rhyme and the simplicity. Structurally too many commas methinks, maybe -
.
Fragrance beauty:
tender red,
in lines 3-5 because of the run-on it is hard to decifer the message and imagery through the words. I suggest breaking them up.
But otherwise I like it
Hope this helps, CL.