youth. saccharine sweet, ethereal in prosperity.
the ears that hear the seasons rush in, hear the beauty in every breath, every song the wind blows in.
the mouth that tastes every word, testing the feeling on their wary, but novice tongue. delving into the warmth that this mouth can so easily create, one step at a time.
the eyes that observe the skies, the skies that hold the secrets that the ancients still crave. the eyes that see the gold clouds, that watch them turn from brightest lavender to deepest blue.
the fingers, smooth as quartz, that touch pure magnificence as though it materialises through their unused limbs. the fingers that reach for the stars.
the mind that sifts through ideas, each as bright and even more blinding than the last.
the youth, not yet tainted, that expands and expands, crushing and cultivating lengths of beauty not before imaginable.
the youth that sits in every heart, every soul, waiting to be brought into the dazzling light it could brighten more still.
youth, that slips thorugh your fingers.
youth, that precious youth.
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Canary word: Present
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You poem wows me, and i really each lines, as they give synoptic yo add to the beauty and lively image which it has created as it exposes and sanitizes the concept of the "youth". I really like how you gave us the clue in youth and trying to express them in ways imaginable way. Most times, I wonder why poets would be the ones to contradict and spoil their own work, not by the suoposed diction, but by their atyle and structure.
Please I want to ask if this is really a poem because the words say's so, but the structure and style of arrangement otherwise. The beauty of a poem is not only locked up in the words, but in the verses, stanzas and meters also. A microwave structure gives a compatible idea to the reader. So I suggest that this should have been pasted in the Articke writing section, due to the way it was structured.
Again, i discovered that most of the lines do not express the concept of "youth".
Above all, I want to Appreciate the idealiatic nature of you poems. Thanks. Love it. Keep writing.
I loved the style of this poem and the imagery that you have included. It seems to be a generalisation of youth and opportunity, however, it delves into so much vivid and varied description. Additionally, I also admire the way that you have decided against capitalisation as it draws further emphasis to not only the message of the poem but the sense that each sentence leads and weaves onto the other and how even those lines themselves are young and shy.
This phrase was very eloquent and by putting the materialises in italics, it creates very mesmerising and beautiful imagery of how those unused limbs create the so blessed world that we live in today through their curiosity and joy.
Bu using repetition as well with some of the words, it joins all of the lines together and links them back to the start of each verse whilst giving them a new and developed meaning.
My only suggestion would be to change the end.
Whilst this line is very influential, in my opinion, the second youth does not fit and perhaps using another word could maybe expand on the conclusion: 'youth, the gemstone of life'. I reckon that by adding a metaphor, you could still have the same effect and final statement but with a bit more variation. Of course, this is completely up to you.
I loved this poem and keep writing!
Thank you so much for your review!