Published November 2, 2010
curiosity got the best of me
as it usualy dose
i wonder "how come?"
and "what if?"
all because of curiosity
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Canary word: Present
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140,783 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
curiosity got the best of me
as it usualy dose i wonder "how come?" "Dose" It is spelled "Does"
And how come what?
and "what if?" What if what?
all because of curiosity Curiousity is the reason you are curious?
This poem is short and simple, very plain. I am very curious about this whole thing haha(: I guess it's unique, I can't really criticize or praise you because I'm so confused about your poem. So uh Good job? haha (:
Hi,
I don't think that the problem is the fact that the poem is too short. This poem definitely lacks of content, what is it that you want your reader to understand? What do you want to share with the reader?
There are a few grammatical errors which can be corrected with proofreading.
I believe the poem is too vague and don't really understand what direction you are aiming at.
What do you man when you say:
In the last sentence you say:
However throughout the poem you didn't really talk about actions that the narrator has committed due to his/her curiosity so
My best advice is for you to go through the poem read it out loud and you will know what I mean. Best of luck with you work
Like the others have said, grammar would improve this piece a lot, so would punctuation, but overall, I really like it's rhythm and flow. Keep writing!
Okay- so first of all, as Flower mentioned, I would go through and correct this grammatically. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but errors like that create quite a bit of distraction to the reader, and bias them against your piece before even taking in any of the words.
Having said that, I also think that you could work on the content a bit more. This is a very basic concept. I would try to add more; it seems like you were aiming for a more conceptual piece, but maybe you could add in a bit more imagery/metaphors? You need a little more substance in this. Maybe not length wise; you can include a lot in a short amount of space. Just be concise.
Anywho- I think that this has the potential to go far. I would just work on beefing it up a bit more.
-Coral-
Flower here, and I will be your reviewer for the evening.
.Well this is really short, and I can't make much of it. You had lot's of punctuation and capitalization errors, I fixed them all I do believe. I really think to make something of this it would need to be longer.
I don't really know what else to say, so I will leave it at that.
-Flow-