Frozen Fire
The snow is ablaze,
Brilliant with each fiery crystal.
It’s white falling on white-
On the gleaming surface of the lake,
On the ice dripping from my roof,
Outside my window,
The curtains glowing,
Burning with a chilly fire.
I know I have to sleep,
Yet I cannot-
My attention is drawn.
All I manage is to keep on walking,
Giving me something to do.
The drifts are now moving
As if from an icy conflagration.
When at last the blaze
From the snow fades,
The glow from the darkness burns.
It is as though I am dreaming.
The surrounding hedges,
The trees,
And the distant peaks of mountains,
Are hanging like clouds,
In weightless suspension before me.
It seems I have a transparent veil
Across my line of vision
Blocking my eyes with fire,
But letting me see what I want-
With ice.
The fields on which I am standing,
Are a sea of unbroken white,
Like frothy waves that never end,
Never washing up on the surface of the sand.
When at last I climb into bed
At the fiery orange of the sunrise,
And rub my burning eyes,
The snow still falling has an eerie brilliance,
As though the night is somehow brighter than it should be.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,832 Reviews
Hello!
I really like this. The oxymoron of frozen fire is awesome. The essence of winter has been captured. I do agree with Truth, though. This bit:
Does slow your poem down a bit. I love the way you always have this concept fire and ice, even to the very end when you describe the narrators burning eyes and fiery orange of the sun. I do wonder if you use of sunrise was intentional or not. Either way, beautiful
Write on!
Lette
Thanks for the comments guys! I really appreciate it!
If you have any constructive criticism, don't hesitate to let me know! Keep on writing!
~Lindsay
This was a great piece- I loved the contrast of the subject and the description. Great concept.
I loved the imagery and the way you incorporated yourself into the piece. I would consider writing more about how the snow was ablaze- you started off focusing on the contradiction, faded away from it, and then came back to it. I would pick on subject, and stick with it. You can incorporate the other parts, but don't forget the purpose of the piece.
Altogether- great job as-is.
-Coral-
I am sometimes a literal person so I might not have the same interpretation of your poem but I thought it was great. I felt a lonliness and isolation in the poem "All I manage is to keep walking." That kind of line reminds me of feelings of emptiness in life.
I see interpret your title as a dichotomy of things. how there is always a second side of things. If even ice can burn, than surely there is a hidden opposite of everything. It is alarming how many people have two sides: one mundane social side, and the side that they don't show the world. That is the side that is both intriguing and terrifying.
I know what I'm saying probably doesn't relate that much with your original meaning but that's what it brought to my mind. Great writing.
Wow, I like this. A lot. I never understood why people love summer better than winter, it's so much quieter, eerie and calm. I guess I have to like it since I was born in winter
But this poem shows everything of winter there is to like.
You used beautiful imagery, mostly in the first, third and fourth (my personal favorite) stanzas and the ending was really good, different from the rest but still following the same idea.
The only thing i can complain on is the second stanza...
I don't know why, but I find flows less then the rest. It slowed me down a bit when I was reading it. Maybe it's just me? Probably.
This is beautiful!
Keep writing!
-Truth-