Hello...
I keep calling you,
Though I know you won't reply
Oh! I call your name...
It's all vague, it's not the same
I'm holding off my friend, I try
**
Hello...
Can you hear?
I wimped out I'm sorry,
Could not fight off the fear
If I could go back,
To where we started...
To tell you everything,
All the things I kept my dear
But it's all over...
And now you're like a dream
If it could be.. if only...
If you were close! if you were here!
**
So "hello from the other side"
Didn't do much, but dear I tried
Now that we're miles and two worlds apart
I've learnt the fears you kept in your heart
My heart is bleeding and the chest is tight
**
Hello...
Are you there?
I can hear the silence...
It's too loud.. too loud to bear
How could you answer?
You're too far from me
Now I wonder...
Will the days ever be fair?
Now I wonder...
How will I? How can I be?
**
Hello...
I know you're sorry,
For a lot of things you've done
My friend don't worry
I know the things you hide
And I know why
I see you and I smile,
Every time I see the sky
**
"Hello from the other side"
I know you did, I know you tried
To tell me, I'm sorry
I was talking too loud
But at least I did tell you
How I'm glad, how I'm proud
**
"Hello from the outside"
I call your name, “I care" I cried
But my friend don't worry,
I'm winning the fight
I'll be brave I promise,
I'll keep up my might
Points:
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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It might just be me, but I had a hard time comprehending it. It was a bit confusing to tell what you were trying to portray, there were tons of different details that i feel like didnt add up. like i said that might just be me. Also, if you were intending to ever get this published it might not be a great idea to use lyrics from Hello.
Great job.
thanks Chakeber
I really like this, keep up the good work!
I honestly don't think there are any improvements I can offer you. It's practically perfect!
Not any grammatical errors I can see, no spelling mistakes. No missing punctuation either.
Basically, what I'm saying is, is that this is beautiful. I love the idea and it's written incredibly well.
Whimsicaly, thanx a lot. Glad you liked it
No problem, I really did love it ^_^