Hello

by aseel

Published January 9, 2016

In HELLO

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Hello...

I keep calling you,

Though I know you won't reply

Oh! I call your name...

It's all vague, it's not the same

I'm holding off my friend, I try

**

Hello...

Can you hear?

I wimped out I'm sorry,

Could not fight off the fear

If I could go back,

To where we started...

To tell you everything,

All the things I kept my dear

But it's all over...

And now you're like a dream

If it could be.. if only...

If you were close! if you were here!

**

So "hello from the other side"

Didn't do much, but dear I tried

Now that we're miles and two worlds apart

I've learnt the fears you kept in your heart

My heart is bleeding and the chest is tight

**

Hello...

Are you there?

I can hear the silence...

It's too loud.. too loud to bear

How could you answer?

You're too far from me

Now I wonder...

Will the days ever be fair?

Now I wonder...

How will I? How can I be?

**

Hello...

I know you're sorry,

For a lot of things you've done

My friend don't worry

I know the things you hide

And I know why

I see you and I smile,

Every time I see the sky

**

"Hello from the other side"

I know you did, I know you tried

To tell me, I'm sorry

I was talking too loud

But at least I did tell you

How I'm glad, how I'm proud

**

"Hello from the outside"

I call your name, “I care" I cried

But my friend don't worry,

I'm winning the fight

I'll be brave I promise,

I'll keep up my might

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Chakeber
Review
Chakeber wrote a review Review · Jan 10, 2016

It might just be me, but I had a hard time comprehending it. It was a bit confusing to tell what you were trying to portray, there were tons of different details that i feel like didnt add up. like i said that might just be me. Also, if you were intending to ever get this published it might not be a great idea to use lyrics from Hello. :) Great job.

aseel replied · Jan 12, 2016

thanks Chakeber

User avatar
Whimsicalyx
Review
Whimsicalyx wrote a review Review · Jan 9, 2016

I really like this, keep up the good work!

I honestly don't think there are any improvements I can offer you. It's practically perfect!

Not any grammatical errors I can see, no spelling mistakes. No missing punctuation either.

Basically, what I'm saying is, is that this is beautiful. I love the idea and it's written incredibly well.

aseel replied · Jan 10, 2016

Whimsicaly, thanx a lot. Glad you liked it

No problem, I really did love it ^_^



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