Published December 2, 2005
I sit here in my room,
Rocking in my chair.
Wasting my life away my live with T.V.
Thinking of you,
I think of your smile.
Which I love when you do.
But for some odd reason it embarasses you.
i think of the following day,
and how it will go.
but seeing your smile makes it all worth it.
from school to homework for homework to bed.
just knowing your happy,
covers all i just said.
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This doesn't seem to have any coherent thought pattern or point.
Wouldn't be too hard on a Novice (I'm not exactly a writer myself), but do try to determine a theme/idea/emotion you want to communicate.
Try again
-Amice-
It's poignant, full of feelings etc. which is lovely may I add.
But I think you forgot a few typos the second time round:
(Just a couple - nothing frightening)
I like the idea. Maybe with a bit of work.......
Btw - your avatar rawks!!!!!!!
I sit here in my room,
Rocking in my chair.
Wasting my life away with T.V.
Thinking of you,
I think of your smile.
Which I love when you do.
But for some odd reason it embarasses you.
i think of the following day,
and how it will go.
but seeing your smile makes it all worth it.
from school to homework for homework to bed.
just knowing your happy,
covers all i just said.
There was a few miss prints in there im going to post it again