Let the flames begin.
Let the fire rage.
Let this purge the land.
Purify it.
Let us rise from the ashes and begin a new.
Let us be stronger and better than better.
In destroying our past we began a new future.
With a new future, we have a new self.
Let the flames begin.
Let them bring the light.
Let the flames begin.
Ignite the night.
Purify this land, make it new.
Let all traces of evil and horror die in the light.
Let this be a symbol, to all those afraid of change.
Change is what shapes us, shapes our future, shapes our fate.
Destruction by fire, rather than destruction by man.
Let the fire tear us in two, rather than our own hands.
The flames will admit their mistakes, where we will not.
Let this stand as a symbol for eras to come.
Let it be known we made this choice, this choice is ours alone.
We will rise again, just wait and see.
We will rise again and we will be pure.
We will be stronger and better like the gods themselves.
We will be made of light itself, and nothing more.
Let the flames begin.
Bring the light.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,009 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
@Artemis28 and @Gilgamesh19 thank you both for your reviews! I really appreciate your guys' comments on my piece and have taken them into consideration.
Thanks again to both of you! xoxo
You're very welcome, arcanedreams!
Hey! I'm still rusty from months without reviewing, but I'll try my best. I hope I don't sound too harsh--I'm not trying to be!
Let's start, shall we? Instead of Gilgamesh down there, I am indeed a grammar teacher and grammar mistakes are much of my specialty. I'm also a nitpick person--I give suggestions for what I don't like. Let's start with a simple word error. "A new" should be combined into one word, as in "anew."
"Let us rise from the ashes and begin a new."
And, in the spirit of tenses, we shall look at this nitpick right here. Shouldn't "began" be "begin?" I know you're not talking in the past tense--sometimes you switch to future, and I'm pretty sure present is dominant in here. But "begin" fits here to me.
"In destroying our past we began a new future."
I like the idea of this. I'm curious about this world that you've created, the one that you're about to burn down. I hope you'll make a book out of this. I honestly think a book based off of this poem would entice me. If you decide to turn this into something different, tag me or PM me to let me know!
Keep writing with your talent!
XOX,
Artemis28
Hello there! Gilgamesh19 here to write a review.
The first things people talk about in a review is grammar, but I ain't no grammar teacher and won't pretend to be.
I admit it, I am not really into poetry, but you did one fine job at it. Your poem really touched me, from your return to the beginig on the final line, trough the well written strophes all across it. The reason why it touched me is that it transmit a message of hope, to me at least, which is something that is extremely welcome in troubled times as the ones we are living in.
In conclusion, great job and hope to see more of this on the future.