All Things Passing

by annebale

Published May 15, 2012

While the night is black as tar
 
I sit here wondering where you are
 
I wonder if you're missing me
 
When you close your eyes who do you see
 
I miss you every day and night
 
The day you left you took my light
 
 
Do you wish that she was me?
 
I can't lie I miss you dearly
 
I love you so much I could cry
 
I have one question and that is why
 
Why'd you ever let me go?
 
When you know I love you so
 
 
You were my first, you were my best
 
But I wish you every happiness
 
I'm very sad it had to end
 
But I hope we can still be friends
 
Now that you have left my side
 
I'm hoping the pain will subside
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
iEuphoria
Review
iEuphoria wrote a review Review · Jun 24, 2012

Hey, Annebale!
I’m Euph, and I am here to review your poem!

I’ll start off by saying that I’m sorry that you and your ex had to part ways, but it appears that it resulted good for you when it came to your writing.
Let me take this one stanza at a time.. :
The poem appears to be about missing someone deeply, who left you for somebody else. The tone is a depressing one, altering the readers mood and setting a sense of nostalgia through some of us, thinking back to when we last had our heart broken by someone we loved.
The poem starts off by describing the sky in the dead of night, in which the narrator is up late at night thinking of a certain someone, thinking of what they are doing at the moment.
As you go into the next two stanzas, you begin to question that person’s emotions, something we all do when we lose someone, as well as if they would trade her for you if it were possible.
 
As you end the poem in the fourth stanza, you set a feeling of letting him free, to fly off and live his life, as long as he knows that he will always be the most important to you, being has he was your first. This is a very typical feeling to want to hold on to your first love.
A small critique is in the end of the third stanza, you say:
“I have one question and that is why
Why'd you ever let me go?
When you know I love you go”
Is there a chance that you had meant “When you know I love you so*”?

Overall, the poem is relatable to those who have recently lost a love, and although it is painful, you get through it. I promise. Just keep up the good work and let your writing keep your spirits lifted. You don’t need a boy to make you happy. I hope this review helps, and good luck getting over him.


User avatar
monsterwriter
Comment
monsterwriter commented Comment · May 15, 2012

Take into consideration what I said about "My Abyss"



Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything's different?
— C.S. Lewis