Published August 30, 2011
These hands don't hold much
to give to you
These eyes don't see well
except through you
I feel like a little child
standing at the window
ready to step out and fly
The glass is broken
the wind is blowing
she is standing
she is screaming
Let your fire break through me
Lets watch it burn that other side of me
Your love is bleeding on to me
I want to be better now, I want to be real now
I always think I know best
How I wish that wasn't true
Behind that fake confidence
I crumble before you
I want to say that I've improved
but i've stayed the same
The glass is broken
he's waiting for me
my hand is reaching
That life is ending
Let your fire break through me
Lets watch it burn that other side of me
Your love is bleeding on to me
I want to be better now, Im going to be real now
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139,529 Literary Works • 672,599 Reviews
To be honest with you I just think its beautiful, there's something slightly off with the flow on one of the stanzas but I can't put my finger on it, so thats probably just me being tired.
You have wrote a really emotional poem. You know you have done well when other people can relate and are feeling emotional just reading it.
Well done
Watch out for some grammatical issues. At the end one that was most prominent to me was the "Im". It threw me out of the poem. Which is amazing and made me wish for confidence to those who need it most. Great poem. Simple yet strong.
I can relate with this:
This simple line brought tears to my eyes. Your poem is beautiful.