Weed Out.

by ankush95

Published November 4, 2017

E - Everyone

In Thoughts

PreviousNext

Weed out your brains,

Everyday there, it rains.

Comments & reviews · 4
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noelani2004
Review
noelani2004 wrote a review Review · Nov 6, 2017

Hey, I'm Noelani ,and I hope you don't find this review offensive.Well your poem is definitely very short.You also have flow errors. In your poem you don't have a point of view nor are you making any sense at all.you could have written a longer poem to explain what you mean by weed out. It does have any truth in it either. Well with this said please continue writing.

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Amethyst101
Review
Amethyst101 wrote a review Review · Nov 5, 2017

Yo! Coming in for a review!

So I love bite-sized poetry like this, because it is so easy to take in, and if done right can mean so much. There was something here that strikes me as powerful. I feel as though this is hinting toward depression, even though every fiber of my being keeps thinking about mary jane.
As far as grammar and syntax go, poetry is VERY flexible so you are all good.
OVerall, keep writing and these little bite-sized nuggets of gold are amazing. GREAT JOB!

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DeerInBacPac
Review
DeerInBacPac wrote a review Review · Nov 5, 2017

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started. :smt020

*looks at poem and loves it immedatily. Grim looks over at the screen and smiles, his Pennywise teeth showing.*
Well, you the Grim Reaper himself to like this poem. Good job!

So, in all seriousness, no grammar mistakes or spelling. Obviously. I love this poem for many reasons. First one is because its so short. Secondly, so much emotion. Thirdly, you mages to pour emotion in to a poem that is only two stanzas. I love it so much, I can't express it.

ow is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that we should clear our brain. Let our minds flourish and think properly. Why? Because it can get dark there sometimes and that.... that isn't good.

Overall, I loved the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Thanksgiving! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

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Radrook
Review
Radrook wrote a review Review · Nov 4, 2017

First, thanks for sharing this very profound poem. To those who might be unfamiliar, this is what is called a couplet. Couplets are usually written in the same meter and use end rhymes. This couplet uses the traditional rhyme scheme but not the traditional harmony of meter. This article explains other uses for couplets.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couplet


My understanding:

Weeds are unwanted in a literal garden because they will harm the other plants. In the same manner wrongful thoughts will harm , weaken or replace healthful thoughts in the garden of the human mind. Especially if the weeds ,or wrongful thoughts, are constantly reinforced by a raining or arrival of other wrongful thoughts from the environment or sky of the outside world. The poem tells us that such wrongful thoughts should be removed in order to maintain a healthy mental garden. That means that we should avoid the constant barrage [rain]influences which reinforce wrongful thoughts.

Suggestion

The only suggestion I have is to change the comma at the end of the first line to either a period or a semicolon.



Your presence can give happiness. I hope you remember that.
— Jin, BTS