Colors of my world

Though it is short, It's powerful. I would have liked it longer, but hey, I write poetry and I know how it gets. For something thrown quickly together, I really like this. The imagery is nice, and I especially like "Tears of silver sin, torment my heavens". It's just a great two lines.

Well i enjoy your poem it sounds great. But a quick few suggestions. First of all... its too short, not that theres anything wrong with short poems but this could be expanded much more and i think it would make this piece stronger. also... punctuation. It may look small but in reality punctuation makes a big different to the read if theres a period oppsed to a comma oppsed to nothing. Also if you added more onto this it would really be encoraging to the reader to continue reading because they want to kno why you have tears of silver sin and please do expand on the children and wings.

This is a great piece of work please continue on this. if you have any troubles PM me. NICE JOB

Hi, Angel! You have great expression in this poem. Very nice imagery, light, and, at the same time, evident. I would suggest, however, to place punctuation marks at the end of each line so as to assist the reader in understanding this piece. As well, it was kind of confusing for me to see what you meant by "tears... torment my heavens" and "children's laughter cast flight to my angel wings" because you changed the tone of the poem: is the purpose of this poem to show how the world is double-sided, and if it is so, in what way? But maybe I'm just going too deep, considering that this is a lyric poem. I also liked your choice of colors to characterize your interpretation of the world. It makes the piece that much sublime. Kudos to you, Angel, nowhere to go but up!

Thanks for writing,

Ebony