The masks that we all wear
sometimes hidden, sometimes clear
Of peace and contentment
for feeling fulfillment
To be acceptable,
and not to be a funny fable.
To fit in this society,
which has a stupid mentality.
To adopt a socially acceptable image,
which is just a mirage
For the whole of our age,
Why do we remain in this cage?
Think for yourself,
Haven't we forgotten our inner self?
Let's try to get back our identity
to fill our hearts with clarity.
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
This poem definitley shows your point of view society in the present and how strong your opinion is. Though, I do agree with you. You never know when you'll see or meet someone who wears a mask an when you do its hard to trust them. I do think we (society) would do a lot better if we did think for ourselves, but it'll be a while before that happens. In my point of view, I strongly think there's a reason for them to put a mask on.
Hi Ane!
Well I loved your poem. It definitely grabs the attention of the readers. It gives a rather clear message of how people, especially teenagers and young adults, feel about society and the "norms." I like how it doesn't rhyme consistently, which again reinforces the breaking of norms considering a lot of poems have a rhyming theme. I think you could have added a bit more ideas to this. Show a bit more of how people go about creating that mask or how it affects them and their decisions. How their emotions are played while using one.
I didn't see any problems with your grammar or your spelling so I say wonderful job on that. Overall, I think you can expand on this but you definitely have a good start and a great job of spinning the poem to show the image that you wish as well as the message you delivered rather clearly.
Sincerely,
Soulkana
A very relevant poem to what many teenagers feel right now in this day and age, including myself. I like the way that it didn't always rhyme, taking it away from the sort of usual poem and therefore really listening to the message of the poem. I suppose it would flow better if it rhymed, but I like the originality. Also, I'm presuming you're new to YWS? If so, welcome! I was new this time last month too
On the whole, I liked the poem as it presented social issues today in our society, but it might have flowed better if it rhymed. Best of luck with your writing in the future!
I think the message of this is really great and really easy to understand. I like that you called it a cage. Like, everybody's been trapped in it for so long, they don't recognize themselves anymore.
It rhymed perfectly, for the most part, and everything was clear and easy to understand.
I think this is a really good work! Keep it up!