I love the way how everything
about him makes me smile.
I love the way he looks at me,
with his emarald green eyes.
I love the way he holds me
in his warm, loving embrace.
I love the way he admires me,
with such elegant grace.
I love the way he takes my hand
in his with such gentle care.
I love the way how everything about
him takes away all my despair.
I love the way his sweet kisses
make my heart almost burst.
I love the way he loves me unconditionally
even when I'm at my worst.
I love the way his mere presence
makes me feel safe.
I love the way his love for me
feels like an enormous wave.
I love the way his heartfelt words
make me feel loved.
I love the way he dearly
calls me his''beloved".
I love the way he secretly smiles
everytime he looks at me.
I love the way how everything about
him is what I've always dreamed.
I love the way he says "I Love You" to
me with such passionate emotion.
I love the way how looking into his eyes
feels like diving into a never ending ocean.
I love the way how everything about him
gives me butterflies.
I love the way he admiringly
calls me "Mine".
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello there!
Aw man, this is beautiful! Based on the description you left for this work, I have to assume that this poem is autobiographical. It warms my heart to know you've found someone that loves you as gently, elegantly, and deeply as "he" does. I hope you've shared this poem with him, as well
Like Winny noted below me, the easiest way this poem could be improved would be splitting it into stanzas. Groups of four lines makes the most sense to me (I noticed there is sometimes, but not always, an ABCB rhyming scheme), but feel free to change it up and experiment with different stanza lengths!
A fun but challenging element you can practice is making the line syllable counts more consistent. Let's take this lovely "stanza" as an example, which would only need a slight tweak:
Let's try to make the last two lines follow the first two's example and make them seven syllables as well!
I love the way he holds me
in his warm, loving embrace.
I love how he admires me,
with words of elegant grace.
I did, unfortunately, break your "I love the way" consistency rule here, but you get the point! I do feel like the rhythm of this new version is a bit stronger.
I'm someone who likes to stick to rules like that when I attempt a poem, but many a poet will encourage you to throw those rules out the window! Next you can try this same topic but in a free verse format instead, or go in the opposite direction and set some stronger rules.
Regardless, this is a lovely, lovely poem! Well done!
Happy writing <3
Wolfi
Thank you so much for taking your precious time to post this review. I definitely agree with you when you say that I should try breaking the poem into stanzas of four. Thank you so much for your lovely review!! Have a great day
Hello! Good day for a review, wouldn't you say?
This is a cute and sentimental poem. The way you start every couple lines with "I love the way," etc. keeps a sense of consistency throughout the entire piece. You kept on track with that the whole way through, which is great.
I didn't realize at first that there was supposed to be a rhyme scheme, but a few lines in, I noticed there was a rhyme present. Reading further, I could pick it up more. If this poem could be divided into sections, it would divide easily into groups of four lines. Each second and fourth line, I believe, have a rhyming element. However, in the very first group of four lines, I am not really seeing a rhyme? Since this is a poem where rhyme is an important and mostly consistent characteristic, I think it is important to establish that in the opening. It reduces the chance of confusion and sets the tone for the rest of the piece.
That being said, the wording you chose to create some of your rhymes is pretty creative. It's interesting to me how every writer is different in the words they choose or which rhyming words come to mind and express what they want to say.
Looks like you've done well keeping your capitalization and punctuation consistent. Spelling looks good, too. Overall, nice work! Keep it up.
Thank you so much Winny. This poem is actually autobiographical so it means a lot to me. Thank you for reading my poem and for posting a review. Hope you have a great day!!