Published May 11, 2012
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Canary word: Present
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140,382 Literary Works • 673,137 Reviews
Hi there, anaischordas.
This poem is lovely. It flows beautifully. It's very nice. If anything, I don't have something that I actually dislike about it when it comes to the words you chose to create your piece. But... I'd suggest you, as a personal opinion, to create stanzas. If you make four lines for each stanza, it'll make this poem look more organized, and therefore, it'll stimulate the reader to get through it and appreciate your writing, in a simpler way.
But you've done a great job. It's really good. So keep it up and keep writing.
~Solly<3
Hello! I am Emoti. In this review I will work in order starting with specific things within the poem then moving to things like flow and overall feelings.
1. The poem would benifit from some punctuation. It would help the flow if you added periods and commas.
2. The rhyme scheme is simple, which works for this poem. However, it also keeps the poem from really taking off.
3. "Giving up is not anywhere around
Though I’m already on the ground"
This stanza doesn't make much sense. I understand the difficulty of rhyming, don't get me wrong, but, the sentences don't match the rest of the poem or the previous sentence.
Flow, it flows well and the sentences seem to be good lengths.
Overall, it's a good poem. it runs well and makes sense mostly. Well done.
Happy review day,
Emoti
Hello! I am Emoti. In this review I will work in order starting with specific things within the poem then moving to things like flow and overall feelings.
1. The poem would benifit from some punctuation. It would help the flow if you added periods and commas.
2. The rhyme scheme is simple, which works for this poem. However, it also keeps the poem from really taking off.
3. "Giving up is not anywhere around
Though I’m already on the ground"
This stanza doesn't make much sense. I understand the difficulty of rhyming, don't get me wrong, but, the sentences don't match the rest of the poem or the previous sentence.
Flow, it flows well and the sentences seem to be good lengths.
Overall, it's a good poem. it runs well and makes sense mostly. Well done.
Happy review day,
Emoti