One Moment

Hello! I promised I would review this, and then I didn’t, so I’m here now at least.
So, I love pantoums. Don’t worry, this poetry style was not lost on me.

So this was an interesting topic that I don’t see all the time. I don’t know if this is an extremely personal poem, so sorry if I offend you if it is.

There’s something that is… intangible... in “professional” pantoums that I don’t feel here. They use their repeated lines as double meanings. Or, they further the journey of the poem with the repeated lines as an anchoring point as well as a launching pad. Does that make any sense at all? I’m sorry if it doesn’t. I suggest that you read a lot of published pantoums to feel that feeling for yourself. I’m just saying that I don’t feel that feeling.

Also, I see your images, but I feel like they didn’t mean anything. I didn’t feel anything when I read those images. What does “all of it trapped in my head” even mean? It’s a case of telling rather than showing. You say that you’re confused, you say it was like it was yesterday, there are just so few poignant images for me to cling to. It all sounds like you used all of the standard ways of describing a car crash. Instead, maybe think about adding a few more unique details. I remember that when I was in a car crash, I focused in on my hands, which were placed on the seat in front of me. I knew every detail of my hand for those few seconds that felt like hours. Maybe you could do “zoom-ins” on little details like that? That would make it more interesting in my opinion.

On the more technical side of things…
I think you’re having a little bit of trouble with your tenses.

Screaming, confused at what is happening

This poem is beautiful tragic but this is discordant. Incompatibility Rhyme and addition Has a complex structure.

Hey Ron!
Oh, wait...Hey americanidol82!
I'm a huge fan of the Harry Potter books, and I adore Ronald Weasley! Do you too? But that's beside the point, I'm here to commend your talent at poetry!
This review is going to be pretty short, since I hardly found any faults, but I hope it helps anyway!
This was a great piece, with strong emotions and alot of depth. I like your use of words in this poem, I atleast, imagined the trauma and panic in flashes of street lights and blaring horns, just as you described.

Screaming, confused at what is happening

Screaming, confused at what was happening

in one moment everything changed.

Hello! Sheep here for a review!
The stapling moment in the poem is 'in one moment, everything changed', and the thing is, it's a little stiff. It doesn't flow too well. If anything, at least put a comma in between 'moment' and 'everything.
'flying off the road'? I don't think that's what the narrator was thinking. They aren't in a flying car. it cannot be a smooth, flight-like feeling when the cars collided. It probably feels like a 10.0 localized earthquake, being hit by a car (though I don't have any experience..). In short, the verb 'flying' does not work.
'screaming, confused at what is happening' is in present tense, while the rest of the poem is in past tense.
also the line,"because of a drunk driver' is stiff and too informative, in a way.'because of a drunk driver'? How did the narrator KNOW it was a drunk driver? did the driver crash also? did he/she get admitted to the hospital?
I like the way you repeated the same lines over and over. It gives a nice impact like the narrator is playing the same moments over and over in his/her head.

Quite a tragedy.

I agree with the first review. It's lacking stories.

I would love to see more emphasised lines rather than repeated.

This poem is extremely tragic and of first person narration style. It relates to a lot of people as drunk driving accidents are becoming increasingly ubiquitous and is a tragedy that unfortunately reveals itself to be one of the worst forms of pain and terror. Although the poem has great thought and effort behind it, the author could or rather should have incorporated good vocabulary and shouldn't have repeated the lines. The repetition tired the flow and speed of the poem so it should have been catalyzed by a few other scenes or descriptions of scenery, the accident, the damage done. The poem is good but could have been excellent with some help and of course a few grammatical changes.