In the eyes of the youth,
he had a delicate soul.
All because time,
had swallowed him whole.
~
Beneath he was a warrior,
armored in steel.
His sword was a brush,
the canvas his shield.
~
For hours he battled,
paint against sword.
After his fight,
we had an accord.
~
I wanted his victory,
hung on my wall.
Such bravery deserved,
to be witnessed by all.
~
You see this warrior was special,
unlike any in the land.
For his mouth wielded his sword,
not by his hand.
~
Then one day the warrior,
traveled away.
Where he would live out his life,
for the rest of his days.
A/N: okay so this is my first time I have ever written a poem. I admit the ending is a bit vague & a little cliche. So if you have any suggestions or feedback feel free to express yourself.....So this poem was inspired by a real person I met in a nursing home. He was a quadriplegic man, about sixty years old. I saw him painting in the cafeteria only using his mouth and I thought, wow that is amazing. I need to buy his painting! Then one day he moved to Italy where he would paint for his brother's art shop.
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140,179 Literary Works • 673,037 Reviews
Wow! The message was such a wonderful one. The warrior's characteristics and how you presented him is just awesome. Not really everyone sees a warrior in their different works you know.
You had a very great creative use of words. Your work was just greatly astounding. Readers will really get what kind of work "the warrior" does because of the way how you gradually unravel his identity. It was just superb!
I liked it when you referred to his artwork as his "victory", you're just talented in writing. Well, I'd rather say you're blessed with it. It is so inspiring and well, I am always trying to learn something new from different writers' work that I read.
I also noticed that you kept on using ~ symbol, is this some kind of your signature or style in writing, maybe? Well, I've seen one somewhere in this site and well, it adds to the drama effect of your work. Just amazing.
Write more please, if you're available.\
Keep writing!
thank you for your lovely review(: ! wow I'm really glad you enjoyed it! I didn't expect such praises, since it really is my first poem. As for the symbol ~ yeaa I've seen other writers on here do so as well. & yes I will be sure to write more. I'm actually trying to write a story if you wnna check it out. Its called "My Fair Gypsy." I would sooo appreciate feedback. Thanks again for your review!
Forgive me for this but I kinda used your work in my class.
Hi! So I start off my poetry reviews with a bit of an explanation. So, to me, poetry is great because people can all take away different meanings. So poems are more mysterious and some are stately to the point. When I first saw the title, I just knew it would be a good poem. Before I read you inspiration, the man or painter, represented a person who had a passion. He faced his battles with art. It was his escape and he was well at it too. When you got to the ending and you (the narrator) wanted to buy the painting, but were not able to, to me shows how we want what we can't have. I think the man probably wanted better arms to paint with, or a better place to paint. The man however though was a warrior because he kept painting even though he was in a nursing home. When he mysteriously disappeared or moved away, it showed hope. That's another reason I enjoyed your poem. I still got a message similar to your inspiration and point lit represented different things to me, but still ment something!
Again, I loved your poem! It's really a great work. There's nothing I would change about. Don't get down on yourself for the ending, it's poetry and sometimes you don't boldly state what you mean, but rather state the mystery in the piece which can give birth to new meanings and understandings of your piece.
Hello musicandme!
Wow I'm glad you enjoyed it! I mean since this is basically the first poem I ever wrote (I don't count the ones in kindergarten). I'm so glad you were able to interpret the connection between warrior and the artist. He was truly an amazing man when I met him. He was one of those cynical yet funny/sarcastic type of person. Thank you for your very kind review & also the follow <3
Definitely, no problem! I just wrote a poem myself if you would be so kind to review it (;
Lol I just did!
Hey there! Congrats on your first poem!
So I do have a few suggestions but they're actually not /too/ necessary and only things to keep in mind when writing poetry in general
I think warrior is a bit of an overstatement with a poem with this kind of admiring tone. I also think you need a lot more imagery to play around with and describe what this person looks like. When writing, the reader gets to look through your eyes and each time can be another unique experience. It would be a really amazing poem once you get the hang of those things if you want to continue writing. I strongly suggest you keep it up, because I can see the potential just oozing out of this! Great first poem!
~Purple
Hi! Thanks for your review! I agree more imagery could be used. I never really thought about describing his physical features. Now that I think about it, I'm thinking about adding it. The artist I'm describing really had a unique face. Anyways ,I just wanted to test out the waters. Poetry can be so amazing with the right words. Thanks again!