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i really think you could do a whole lot with this poem. i really liked it, how when i read it and think back to all of the very good to the very bad that has happened to me. i think wow someone knows that it suck, it rocks and lifes is as bumpy a scared bunny. i like how you talk about both the good and the bad, usaully people write about how dark, life is and how no one understands. yeah they're right no one does. but the other people write about how happy they are and how lucky they are. they're right too, but you? you have the prefect in between of both worlds.!! great job!!!

The images were not very well developed and connected, and the storyline is unclear.

However, I don't think those were your main focuses. The star of this poem is the rhythm, which is awesome. It has a very musical feel about it.

I think if you could make the imagery and storyline more focused and clear, this would be a stunning poem.

The poem has connected to me instantly as i read it.

Hopefully, you can write more because I enjoyed reading this one.

Keep up the good work!

Make your poems a little bit longer, but other than that, you arre doing okay with your writing.

Thank you for letting me read such a wonderful masterpiece.

You handle your syllables well. I must say I see a songwriter.