I Look....

This may seem a little bit redundant because of the previous reviews, but frankly I have the same thing to say: it needs to flow more. The flow could be better by simply combining two lines into one here and there. Beside that, I love the simplicity of this poem, because it makes the ending very surprising.

Hello there! This was very good poem. I go however agree upon the fact that at some points the flow of it is.... odd, for lack of a better word. Like here-

I look at the
Rise and the
Fall
Of the blankets.

Hello, Well, I like the poem but the way you formated it just makes it hard to read.

I lay in bed,
Watching.
I look at the flying bird outside my window. you could take out "flying" and the line would still have the same efect
I look at the trees,
Dancing and swaying with the wind.
I look at the crack
Splitting my cieling.
I look at the sleeping form across from me. here I think it would sound better to put "beside me" to replace "across from me"
I look at the rise and the fall of the blankets.
I look at the way the curtains float on the window. you might consider changing this to "I look at the curtains floating on the window"
I look into the mirror in my closet.
I see the reflection of the room.
I see the reflection of really you can take out this part and just go on with "my bed
My bed,
My blanket...
But I have disappeared.
My reflection does not exist.

It was good, you twist ended a poem good. It could flow a little better

Well, first and far most of it when I was reading this I felt like after every 3 words or so you'd skip a line. When writers do that they should really put some words together, like one sentence then a few words straying away from the others. Like this:

amandajo wrote:I lay in bed,
Watching.
I look at the flying bird outside my window.
I look at the trees,
Dancing and swaying with the wind.