Published September 8, 2011
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140,567 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
Thanks to all of you! I must admit I'm in a very cliche situation right now. I'm not the best poet. I know almost nothing about poetry and I'm just getting over a writers block that has lasted months. Oh and I don't usually rhyme. I'm not trying to make excuses but I'm new at this. I'm taking ALL feedback. Whether it's good or bad.
This is great! I like the rhyming, though it sounded a little constricted. But it flows nicely
It speaks your feelings nicely. Keep writing!
I like how you said "I am unspoken."
"You make me smile.
It's just for a while." <-- this part reminds me of the song 'Bubbly' by Colbie Colliat. Just a bit...
Overall I love it
Hey there! This is a cute and simple little poem and you're right that it's not the best poem ever but it's the expression of how/what you feel and I totally respect that.
because it was a lovely way to start the poem though I was a little disappointed as I read further because the rest of the poem was a little cliché. That's why I think the poem is cute. Some of the rhymes were a little forced and speaking of rhymes, why do you have 3 rhyming lines in the middle of the piece when all the others were couplets?I especially love:
But I can't help myself from liking this. Probably because I feel what you feel. So well done for that. Well done for making the reader realate to your feelings and for the tone, rhythmn and flow of the poem.
Keep writing!
- Mikko.
I really like this poem, its how I've been feeling with me and a friend of mine. Haha. I really liked it it was simple but it touched home. Great job, and keep up the great work. The rhymes didn't sound forced or stressed, it all flowed perfectly. 4 owls out of 5.
~ Owl