Published August 1, 2010
I can't find words
To describe who I am,
Who I'm becoming.
I try to think deeply.
I stare at the mirror.
I don't recognize my reflection.
Physical things are not unfamiliar.
I know the curves of my face.
I know the downturn of my lips.
It's something much more,
Deep under the pores of my skin,
And the pounce of my troubled heart.
I question if I'm crazy.
I wonder if I dreamed everything
That ever happened between us.
Because from what I've noticed,
You seem to see me as a fading memory,
Or a used piece of flesh.
Do I scare you?
Do you and I together scare you?
What does it mean to be scared?
You say nothing's wrong.
Nothing must be something,
Because you look at me with blank eyes.
You speak to me as if you're a critic.
You judge my every word,
Every breath.
You tell me you will always care for me.
You tell me you will always fight for my happiness.
Make always now.
I love you.
You know that.
I question whether I love myself.
You know I wasn't ready for you.
I wasn't ready for you and me to be together,
But it happened anyway.
So here we are,
Both of us broken.
We are bent differently.
I am bent towards you.
I am leaning on you as a support to stand.
You are bent away from me.
You watch me fall.
I hit the ground.
Now my physical reflection is unrecognizable too.
I am covered in scars.
You carved them so deeply,
And now the whole world can see them taking over me.
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139,448 Literary Works • 672,565 Reviews
Hello, Inspired.
This is my favorite stanza.This is really well written and even though the flow and rhythm is a bit choppy, it was still really nice to read. There was a lot of emotion in this poem and I knew exactly what was happening through the whole poem. I've really nothing bad to say about this.
ReisePiecey!
Hey Alwaysbeinspired95
I thought it would flow better if you had said 'or who i'm becoming' but thats just my opinion.I feel like there is a bit too much I's and it draws attention away from the plight of this person although it is from her/his point of view so its understandable
My favorite stanza of the poem. Very good imagery, I like
I liked this. It was very emotional. It was cleverly described and this was a good read. I like the name it was the core reason that I chose to review it.
Keep Writing
Anger
maybe needs a little work on flow, but other than that i loved it! it really shows what each person feels, and makes you wonder exactly what went down during this whole thing. maybe describe a little more of your feelings, how it makes you feel when he leans away from you, how much it hurts, not just that your broken. this poem seems to lean more toward telling about how you think this other person feels about you, but you don't know whats going on in thier head so maybe say more about yourself, and what's going on in your head, even if nothing makes sense.