Published July 28, 2010
Rain.
It is so pure, so easy.
It is motivated through its cycle and beautiful when it hits slippery puddles on the ground below, forming multiple crystals that shatter everywhere.
Rain is simple.
It falls through the thick, tense air and lands on thirsty earth.
Rain is clean.
It slides gracefully down the faces of children, and down rainbow colored umbrellas.
It swishes between wind shield wipers of cars transporting rushing people, and between the innocent lips of a young boy and girl kissing in the rain.
Rain is generous.
It falls on abandoned ground, where only tiny critters and hungry birds see its beauty.
It never misses anything, or leaves something unquenched.
Rain is predictable in all its perfection.
It always stops.
It always returns.
Rain.
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Very descriptive, but at the cost of fluidity:
"Rain.
It is so pure, so easy.
It is motivated through its cycle and beautiful when it hits slippery puddles on the ground below, forming multiple crystals that shatter everywhere"
That first line is loooong. But there are a lot of good visuals and ideas in there, you just have to make it a little more palatable, but then again a palate is a matter of taste.
"Rain is clean.
It slides gracefully down the faces of children, and down rainbow colored umbrellas.
It swishes between wind shield wipers of cars transporting rushing people, and between the innocent lips of a young boy and girl kissing in the rain."
The images here are good, I especially liked the last one, but none of them really convey "clean" to me. I would have to suggest another word, something a little less dainty and sanitary
I loved everything about this poem, I liked how you opened up with the word rain and ended with the word rain. It does describe rain but I felt you could have did more with the picture here.
So is the Earth really dry then? Like in the desert, if so does that mean its sand? Paint a picture with your words. Keep writing !
-M.