Young Writers Society

Her Relationship with Depression

By Mae Ballantyne

Cast list:

Hecate

Woe

Ellie

Harmony

Billie

Julia

Nakita

Justin

Andy

Poet

Scene 1

(A writer stands after finishing writing and reads his finished product. Note-this part can be read from a book.)

Poet:

Lines from suicide notes or love letters- Doc Luben:

1. Don’t freak out.

2. We both know this has been coming for a long time.

3. I have been staying awake at nights, wondering if I should tell you.

4. I bought the kind of crackers you like. They are in the hall cupboard.

5. Now that we have watched all the episodes of True Blood, I do not know what else to do next.

6. I have just been too afraid for too long.

7. This is the kind of thing where waiting for the time to be right would just mean waiting forever; it’s the kind of thing no one else can help you decide.

8. I came home on Thursday and found all of the chairs in the house stacked in a pile in the centre of my kitchen; I don’t know how long they have been like that, but it must have been me that did it. It is the kind of thing a ghost might do, to prove to the living he is still there. I am haunting my own apartment.

9. I imagine my furniture in your apartment.  

10. I wonder how many likes it will get on Facebook.

11. My dad always used to tell the same joke, but I can’t remember the punch line.

12. I was eight years old and it took three weeks (three eight-year-old weeks— imagine) to gather everything I needed to be Batman. Rope, boomerangs, a mardi gras mask with the beads cut off. I couldn’t find a cave near my house, so I buried them all in a bundle under the ivy. For years after,

I tried to find that spot again.

The ivy grew too fast.

I searched in so many spots

it seemed impossible I had missed any.

But I never found it.

How can something be there?

and then just not be there?

How do we forgive ourselves?

for all the things we did not become?

Scene 2

(A girl called Hecate sits in amongst a load of schoolbooks- she looks very average without distinct features e.g. average uniform and natural hair. reading a maths book, mumbling something about cosine to herself. She sighs and looks up.)

Hecate: I’ve never been one for maths. Well actually I don’t like a lot of things now. It feels so… Numb. As if someone has given a beautiful coloured drawing a wash of grey. Like a once vibrant pen running low. And my schoolwork is slipping. I just don’t see a point in it. Someday we will all be dead, rotting and the same so why should I bother? My friends don’t care all that much I reckon, like sure they’re kind to me, but what do they actually think of me? Let me put it like this- imagine trying so hard to make a meal, adding all the spices to make it as new and amazing as you can and it just tastes like mashed potatoes. Everything just tastes like that now so I don’t bother with spices, not anymore. My mum doesn’t understand either. She enjoys seeing me upset, I swear, and that’s when I manage to see her. I can’t tell anyone what’s going on, it’s just me and… (woe is on, just looking on and smiling.) Oh, hi Woe…

Woe: Hello Hecate. What kind of greeting is that for your girlfriend?

Hecate: What? You don’t control me.

Woe: You’re lying to yourself, we both know that I cause chaos in your head.

Hecate: I’m sorry.

Woe: You should be ashamed. You can’t even greet your depression properly (Woe paces around Hecate, looking at her up and down as if to “check her out”) You’re mine you know, and I want you all to myself.

Hecate: You’re the only one to ever say that to me.

Woe: I’ll always be here for you, no escape from all the love I have.

Hecate: This is going so fast… I don’t know what to do.

Woe: Just trust me. Stop doing work. Now. Yours is never right anyway so there’s no point in it.

(lights go from a bright light to two spots on each side of the stage, on one side Hecate stands and Woe the other.)

Hecate: (aside) Woe is my depression. She’s not real. She brings me up and puts me down, just like an abusive girlfriend. I’m always so alone and she surrounds me, her love a noose around my neck and I have no idea when she’ll push me over the edge. She’s killing me, but I can’t leave her. I just can’t do it. I can’t tell my friends, my family, my mum… what would they think of me? And then Woe tightens the noose. I must live with a villain pacing in my mind. She lies to me and manipulates me, but she loves me and I love her. I get jealous of the other girls Woe talks to, they’re good people, like me. So, I try to make myself more like them, but depression talks to who they want to, so once again I’m ignored. I’ve heard she has killed people, (shouting now) but they’re lying! All of them! I trust only Woe and she says she hasn’t.

Woe: (aside and smiling) I know what I am. I know how I’m slowly killing her. We argue so much and only I know what she does to her arms when no one is looking, well I guess I do it. Doesn’t mean I should care though. She can’t talk to anyone else and that’s why I’m a person. Her sadness goes so deep that she confines in a made-up character, how pathetic of her… again. She’s a mutation. If I do something she doesn’t like, I lie, say “what… don’t you love me anymore?”, I leave her and wait for her heart to feel so parched from me. Then I visit again.

Hecate: So why are you here this time?

Woe: I don’t need a reason. I live here - in there, crazy. It’s ironic, isn’t it? (Hecate gives her an odd look) I’m technically inside of you, yet I have you wrapped around my finger. I could make you do anything. Tick-tock dear, you’re a bomb.

Hecate: (almost yelling) … th-this isn’t true, why are you doing this?

Woe: Because I want to see you cry. It’s so much prettier… And you can’t stop me so you have to listen. No blocking me out, you can’t block voices when they come from in-between your ears.

Scene 3:

(School scene- Hecate is with her friends: Harmony, Ellie and Billie. The four friends sit on desks except for Hecate who sits at her desk trying to work in her lunch hour. Woe watches silently in the background.)

Harmony: Ugh Hecate! You’re eating meat again?

Hecate: Yes, Harmony, I told you I was gonna last week.

Harmony: it’s so weird being the only vegetarian again.

Ellie: So, what did you do at the weekend? Luke said you weren’t at rowing.

Harmony: I was actually out with my family, we went to the beach. I’m just glad I didn’t fall in the Thames again.

Ellie: You always fall in the boat when Luke is in charge!

Harmony: Well that’s because he’s a mess, last time my arm got sprained.

Ellie: (laughing) your arm always hurts! You actually named the last scratch Steve…

Billie: Harmony, Ellie, did you see the remake of Beauty and the beast??

Harmony: I didn’t actually, I was with Josh all weekend.

Billie: Nice… Well if you ask me, Gaston was the only beast in it…

Ellie: Billie!! REALLY?

Billie: Have you seen the film? You have to agree, he’s my favourite villain now.

Harmony: Well to be fair, Billie, you do talk about someone new every week.

Ellie: Ham has a point, like remember that whole week where you would not SHUT UP about Hugh Jackman? He’s old enough to be your dad.

Billie: (embarrassed) a-anyway, Hecate what are you doing?

Ellie: You seem quiet, is anything wrong?

Hecate: Nothing. Just leave me alone.

Harmony: Please tell us.

Hecate: LEAVE IT. (Woe touches Hecate’s head and Hecate leaves)

Billie: What was all that?

Ellie: It might just be tough with her mum at the moment, you know how she can get. I say we leave it until she needs to talk to us first, everyone is happier that way.

Harmony: Well that’s true enough, should we speak to her mum?

Billie: No way! Her mum is awful to her, honestly, we would only make it worse, Hecate really doesn’t need it right now.

Ellie: How do you know that?

Harmony: She told us one time that… well her mum was made to have her. Her grandmother was strict and catholic, all religious-y, she wasn’t allowed to abort.

Ellie: Oh god!

Billie: Do you think there’s anything we can do?

Harmony: Not until we know what’s wrong…

Ellie: All we can do for her is just be there for her.

(there is a pause, the three look at each other)

Harmony: Maybe we should do a surprise party at mine? Maybe next week?

Ellie: good idea, let’s do it!

(Nakita, Justin and Andy sit on desks too, Nakita close to Harmony.)

Nakita: Did you hear that?

Andy: Hear what?

Justin: Does that retard over there have an issue?

Nakita: Not even her own mum wants her, to be honest I’m not so surprised.

Justin: Whys that?

Nakita: I bet she was a mistake, her mum was forced to have her. Plus did you see those scars on her thighs? She’s not exactly trying to hide her mental problems.

Justin: Wow, I didn’t realise she was an actual retard. We should pay her a visit.

Andy: She’s literally mental. Bet someday she’ll get locked up.

Nakita: Are you kidding me? She’s just an attention whore.

Scene 4

(woe and Hecate are alone on the stage)

Woe: Having a nice lunch?

Hecate: Please just leave me alone. Not now.

Woe: You can’t tell me what to do. I’ll do what I want, when I want it. Even if it hurts you. Don’t expect me to apologise either. Isn’t it nice to know I’m lying to you but you still believe me, still love me, still hang onto every single word. You know it’s not true, but do you? I can tell you anything and your blind fucking faith keeps you chained to my word like a dog on a leash. And while you’re leashed to my unbreakable love, you’ll never be free. You know I push you away from people. Your friends. But in the end, you’ll always choose me, no regard for yourself. Just blinding, sickening love.

(everything from here on is surreal, the lighting may flicker and sounds may be static and sketchy to show how this scene isn’t real. Woe stands tall on a block at the back, using people like the puppets- note that the people aren’t real and these people care about her, they are twisted by depression to be seen as evil.)

Hecate: Hello? Anyone?

Harmony: It’s such a shame you’re not even strong enough to talk to us. It’s like we’re not even friends.

Billie: Maybe you’re alone for a reason. You deserve to be out-casted.

Ellie: Nikita, Justin and Andy know everything. We told them. You deserve whatever they do to you.

Nikita: I would punch you, but I can see you already hurt yourself so I won’t have to. How pathetic.

Andy: Those scars show how insane you really are. What a pity. Life is lasted on you.

Justin: Who do you have to be strong for? Nobody cares if you live or die so you may as well give up now. You’re halfway there, just cut a little further.

(the lights go off and Hecate is heard screaming, clinging to her hair and crouching on the floor. A red ribbon is tied to her arm- this portrays scars; however it can be removed depending on personal choice.)

Scene 5

(Hecate sits on the floor with books, her mum, Julia, enters- “slightly” drunk)

Julia: Hecate!! Why on earth have your grades slipped?

Hecate: Oh god… sorry mum it’s not my fault.

Julia: I’m so tired of you failing grades.

Hecate: They’re my grades to worry about…

Julia: Shut up and stop ruining your life!

Hecate: It was one grade!

Julia: If you’re not careful you’ll end up like your father.

Hecate: Can I talk to you about something?

Julia: Before you do, I already know what’s going on.

Hecate: You do…?

Julia: Your grades are slipping because your friends have stressed you out.

Hecate: No! That isn’t it at all!

Julia: Stop being stupid, I knew they never liked you. You’ll stop seeing them at weekends to study.

Hecate: They never did anything wrong!

Julia: Shut up, you’re just like your father.

Hecate: What happened to dad is not my fault.

Julia: Oh, it never is your fault, is it? You had better improve by the end of the year or you’ll screw up your life like I did when I had you.

Hecate: I’m sorry mum.

Julia: Sorry?! Well doesn’t that just SOLVE EVERYTHING. All the pain and suffering you’ve caused me?

Hecate: oh, my god... how much did you drink?

Julia: YOU’RE NOT MY MOTHER. SHUT UP.

(Hecate stands, visibly shaking)

Hecate: But you’re mine and I don’t want to see you dead because you decided life wasn’t fair on you.

Julia: What the hell would you know about life being unfair? You’re just a dumb kid.

Hecate: You don’t know anything about me. All you did was name me and push me away from you.

Julia: (yelling)I hate you. (Julia looks as if she’s about to hit Hecate, Hecate flinches.)

Hecate: I’m sorry.

Julia: God, you are pathetic. Sort out your life before you have a piece of shit kid who doesn’t even try to do well. You ruined me Hecate. I was going to be a star before you came along.

(she starts to leave and she looks over her shoulder at Hecate)

Do better at school.

(a tear streams down her face, she curls up into a ball)

Scene 6

(Hecate looks at Woe, she smiles back. Hecate doesn’t say anything. She just sits there.)

Woe: Time to play with your mind again. You make this so easy for me. You walk right to me whenever you are put down. It’s a shame I’ll never help you. I’ll just do whatever the fuck I want and you can’t stop me. (woe goes closer) hear that? Your friends want to talk to you. (Woe kicks Hecate onto the floor)

(Woe uses people to say things to Hecate again, just like scene 4)

Harmony: It’s such a shame you’re not even strong enough to talk to us. It’s like we’re not even friends.

Billie: Maybe you’re alone for a reason. You deserve to be out-casted.

Ellie: Nikita, Justin and Andy know everything. We told them. You deserve whatever they do to you.

Nikita: I would punch you, but I can see you already hurt yourself so I won’t have to. How pathetic.

Andy: Those scars show how insane you really are. What a pity. Life is lasted on you.

Justin: Who do you have to be strong for? Nobody cares if you live or die so you may as well give up now. You’re halfway there, just cut a little further.

Julia: You should have never been born and I hate you.

(they intensify and repeat what they said, maybe adding in the odd “failure”, “loser” or “freak”. They speak over each other. Hecate screams, tearing at her hair, just as before and there is a blackout. Another ribbon is tied to her arm.)

Scene 7

(The three girls and Billie come in, mid-conversation. Woe watches, a little closer than last time)

Hecate: Honestly guys, I just feel ill.

Billie: Are you sure?

Hecate: Yeah, I’m just gonna get some air and sort out my work.

Harmony: Um okay, just call us if you need us.

Ellie: Yeah, make sure you eat this lunch too.

Hecate: Yeah, whatever.

(Hecate sits down and her friends leave. Nikita, Justin and Andy enter.)

Nikita: Wonder how much money she has on her.

Justin: Guess we don’t have to wonder.

Andy: Hi Hecate…

(Hecate gives him an odd look)

Hecate: Um… hello?

Justin: Hecate, I’ve run into some trouble... I don’t have any money left and I want more chocolate.

Hecate: I – I only have £2, and promised my friends I’d eat today.

Nikita: Now, now let’s not look greedy.

(Hecate says nothing)

Nikita: Boys.

(The boys grab Hecate by the arms, holding her back. Nikita goes over to Hecate’s bag and raids it. She pulls out the money. Hecate looks like she’s going to say something or struggle but she gives up. Nikita holds out the money so Hecate can see it, then she throws the coins at Hecate’s feet. Hecate flinches again but the boys hold on to her and push her over.)

Nikita: You’re so weak. No wonder your mum hits you.

Andy: Such a pathetic worm in the mud.

(Hecate looks like she’ll get up, then stops and falls down)

Andy: That’s right, don’t fight back. What will it do, make your mum proud of you? That’s impossible.

Justin: When will you kill yourself, now or later?

Nikita: Why don't you just go cut yourself some more and run around trying to get attention.

Andy: Why don't your mum slip into something more comfortable- like a coma?

Nikita: Nice Andy.

(Ellie, Harmony and Billie enter)

Ellie: What the hell is going on?

Harmony: Get off of her!

Nikita: (laughs) later, losers.

(Andy picks up the £2 and the bullies leave.)

Harmony: What the hell was that?

Ellie: Oh god... Hecate are you okay?

(Billie helps Hecate up off the floor)

Hecate: I’m fine. It won’t happen again.

Billie: We should report them.

Hecate: No! Stop!

Harmony: Why? We want to help!

Hecate: You’ve done quite enough. You’re not my friends. (she exits)

Scene 8

(Woe is alone on stage, very close to Hecate. No one else is on stage)

Hecate: Today… it’s different. She’s here but I can’t hear anyone. She’s too close to me. It hurts and I don’t know what to do. I want her to stay away but I can never leave her. I want this all to stop, it’s too much… much too much. I can’t cope with this anymore. I just want it all to be over but I can’t control it or tell anyone. I… I… want her to die. I want it to be over. I don’t have the strength to leave and she’s attached to me like an anchor, stopping me from reaching what I could. Not anymore. I am stopping this. I don’t know how. But I’m going to stop her. (she looks defiant, until Woe puts a hand on her shoulder.)

Woe: (softly) I heard that you want me dead… (shouting, holding Hecate close- maybe a ribbon over her neck and she laughs) fine. Die with me.

Curtain.