Music

by alleycat13

Published April 29, 2008

My english class final is to write a series of poetry about my high school memories. Since I've been in band all four years, I figured a poem about music would be apporpriate. This is the very rough draft--what I wrote in class today. Critique it please and help me with the title.

Music

I think that life is made from music
Each note a thought, a voice on a string.
Sound and time spun into rhetoric,
Its essence makes us play and sing.

So, when asked it I would like to be
A member of the band,
Of the eternal chord, harmony,
I picked it up and ran.

A single note reverberates up
To the band room’s white drop ceiling.
It floods the room, water in a cup,
Everything I made, life and feeling.

Comments & reviews · 5
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ItsMeNathalie
Comment
ItsMeNathalie commented Comment · Sep 3, 2010

I've got 5 words for you: I LOVE this poem, AMAZING!

I love music, without music I can't live and this poem tells exactly how I feel about music!

I love it!

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SilentRain
Review
SilentRain wrote a review Review · Sep 2, 2010

Hello,
Well, theres nothing really I would change about this. I like the rythem and the topic. I haven't read a poem like this before, I like the origanality of it. Love the poem!!

I think that life is made from music
Each note a thought, a voice on a string.


Love these lines!

~Rain~

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eyesxsewnxopen Comment
eyesxsewnxopen commented Comment · Sep 1, 2010

Is this the the musings of a fellow band geek ? I play Alto sax. I like your poem and how vague it is. But I fear it is too vague even to the point of being random. Peace and Love.

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ForsakenAngel
Review
ForsakenAngel wrote a review Review · Aug 13, 2010

alleycat13 wrote:Music

So, when asked it I would like to be <I think you mean to say "if".
A member of the band,
Of the eternal chord, harmony,
I picked it up and ran. <Like Sassykat said, be more spacific, I don't know what you're picking up here.


Wow, this is officially my favourite poem! I loved it! I, like Sassykat,
love music, so I agree with this poem! I enjoyed reading it. OK, what's in red
is my writing, hope I helped!
If you need me to review anything else, shoot me a PM, and I'll take a look!

~xX~Forsakinshadow~Xx~

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Sassykat
Review
Sassykat wrote a review Review · Jul 28, 2010

Okay, this is my new favorite. I love music.

So, when asked it I would like to be
A member of the band,

That first line there didn't seem to make sense. If you lost the 'it' then it might work.

I picked it up and ran.

Picked what up and ran? Be more specific.



"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss