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74th Hunger Games Fan Fiction

by alexagk01


The sound of a gong goes off telling me that I have to run to the cornucopia and grab as much supplies and weapons as possible, then run off into the woods. I bolt off the platform and run as fast as I can. As I reach the cornucopia, I move around the bloodbath and the Careers. I reach for an orange backpack when I notice movement out of the corner of my eye, coming closer to me. It was the male tribute from District 8 coming at me with a sword. I tried to run away, but he tackles me.

“Prepare to die, Girl on Fire!” he snarls at me raising the sword, and I shut my eyes preparing for the death blow but it never came. Instead, I felt a warm wet liquid splash onto my face. I opened my eyes, saw the guy who came at me dead on the ground with a sword protruding from his back. The warm wet liquid on my face was the tribute’s blood. The person who saved me was my old friend Cato, from when I lived in District 2.

“Go, Melissa!” Cato yells at me as he was pulling his sword out of the tributes body.

I bolt with the orange backpack, and run as fast as I can to the woods. After running which seems like an eternity, I collapse next to a tree and gather my breath. I open my backpack to find a sleeping bag, crackers, dried beef, rope, two knives, pair of glasses that seem to resemble sun glasses, iodine and a water bottle. Yes! A water bottle!, I think to myself as I opened the top. I sigh as I realize that it is empty. Now, I have to find water and hunt for food.

As I walk farther and farther into the vast forest, I set up a few traps using a bit of the rope from my backpack. A sound of a cannon went off, signaling a tribute’s death. I stop dead in my tracks and count 11 cannons. 11 dead and 13 tributes left to play. I continue to walk in search for a source of water, and I am on high alert for the Careers and for other tributes.

After what seems like forever, I find a small pond and kneel down next to it to fill my water bottle. Then I hear whooping and hollering coming from the woods across from where I am. It sounds like the Careers, I am right. They appear through the woods and their eyes land on me.

“We are going to get you Girl on Fire!” the blonde Career girl yells, I believe her name is Glimmer.

“Yeah, let’s get her!” Cato yells as they start running towards me. I quickly close the top of my water bottle and ran hoping that I could escape them. I guess they wanted to scare me away from the pond, because after running through the woods they weren’t in sight.

As the sun starts to set, I find a nice Willow tree and climb to what seemed like a good distance off the ground and tie myself onto a tree branch. By the time I was situated, the darkness has set over the Arena. A small fire lit throughout the darkness, what a stupid idea, I think to myself. A tribute lighting a fire at night was like a beacon saying come kill me! I was right, and hear a shrill scream sound throughout the night as the fire is extinguished.

“12 down and 11 to go!” Cato shouts his voice coming closer and closer to the tree I was in.

“Cato can we rest somewhere?” Glimmer complains, her voice coming from right beneath me.

“Let’s rest here,” another voice states probably Marvel, the other Career tribute from District 1.

“Shouldn’t we hear a cannon by now?” Clove questions.

“Is she even dead?” Glimmer asks.

“She’s dead, I killed her myself,” Cato says.

“Then where’s the cannon then?” Clove sasses back.

“Someone go check on her then?” Cato commands.

“Fine, I will!” a familiar voice yells out almost making me fall out of the tree. It was the voice of my District partner Ben Miller, from District 12. He has cut on his forehead and bruises on his face, knowing that he didn’t listen to Haymitch’s instructions. Ben is from the same poor place of town in District 12, that I am from. He heads off with a sword and goes back to where the girl was, then there was a cannon signaling that she was dead. Just after the cannon went off I fall fast asleep.

In the morning, I wake up from the sound of tracker jackers. I look down and saw that the Careers and Ben were fast asleep below me. Then there was a rustling sound in the tree next to me and I look over to see Rue pointing at the branch where the tracker jacker nest lays making sawing motion with her hand before disappearing into the trees. I grab one of the knives I start to saw as quietly as I can.

The tracker jackers start to move about and all of a sudden I fell a sharp pain on my hand and realize that one stung me and I still keep sawing and then the branch gave out and fell on the ground nearby. I feel two more stings forming on my neck and cheek. The venom instantly makes me woozy.

The tracker jackers start to swarm the Careers and Ben and they all run away but Glimmer starts swatting at them with her bow, annoying them. She falls to the ground and twitches before there was a cannon signaling that she has died from the venom. I grab my backpack and jump from the tree barely landing on my feet and stumble over to Glimmer’s body. I roll over her body and grab the sheath of arrows and her bow. I start swaying from side to side, from the effects of the venom when a rustling noise came from behind me and Cato appears.

“Run, Melissa! Run!” he yells at me as I try to move but I black out.

“Melissa!? Wake Up. Shorty, I need you to wake up!!” Cato yells as I slowly regain conscientious. I slowly open my eyes meeting Cato’s icy blues.

“Cato, where am I?” I ask him, my voice sounding groggy.

“You blacked out from the tracker jacker venom and you were out for a three days, worrying me sick,” Cato explains.

“You don’t need to worry about me Cato,” I tell him. “Do you remember from when I used to live in District 2 and we were best friends and I punched the boy that was picking on me?”

“Yeah, and he cried and ran away,” Cato says and laughs.

“I can handle myself,” I say as I grab my backpack and bow and start to walk away.

“I worry about you because I LOVE YOU!!” I hear Cato shout behind me causing me to stop. I turn around and Cato’s lips suddenly land on mine.

“I’m sorry, I just had to do it,” Cato says and start to walk away.

“Wait, Cato!” I yell back making him turn around.

“I… I love you too,” I stutter out. “And one more question, why aren’t you with the rest of the Careers?”

“Well, I wanted to stay with you, but if I have brought you with me they would probably have killed you.” Cato explains.

“Ok, thanks for not letting me be killed,” I replied making him smile. “Where is my District partner Ben?” I ask, I hint of worry in my voice.

“Well the last time I saw him he was running with the rest of the Careers away from the tracker jacker attack, heading for the pond.” Cato explains.

“And?” I ask him.

“And I think I saw Marvel cut Ben’s leg with his spear and Ben’s wound looked very deep and bad.” Cato finishes.

TO BE CONTINUED.


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359 Reviews


Points: 455
Reviews: 359

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Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:30 pm
steampowered wrote a review...



Hello, steampowered here to review and rescue your work from the clutches of the Green Room! Now, I personally really like the Hunger Games, so when I saw this was a Hunger Games fanfiction I decided I wanted to read it and see your interpretation.

The thing that really threw me off with this is the bit about the districts. Melissa, that is to say, the Girl on Fire (I’m assuming she’s a replacement for Katniss) used to live in District 2 and that’s how she knows Cato. But then you say later on that she is from the same part of District 12 as Ben. Since there isn’t any movement between districts, this is just really confusing. It’s OK to go away from canon, but you do need an explanation as to why Melissa lived in two places!

Anyway, onto the more nitpicky bits:

The sound of a gong goes off telling me that I have to run to the cornucopia and grab as much supplies and weapons as possible


Cornucopia should be capitalised, and it should be “as many supplies”.

“Prepare to die, Girl on Fire!” he snarls at me raising the sword, and I shut my eyes preparing for the death blow but it never came.


When writing in a less familiar tense you need to be really careful that you don’t lapse back into the past tense. So it should be, “but it never comes”.

“12 down and 11 to go!” Cato shouts his voice coming closer and closer to the tree I was in.
“Cato can we rest somewhere?” Glimmer complains, her voice coming from right beneath me.
“Let’s rest here,” another voice states probably Marvel, the other Career tribute from District 1.
“Shouldn’t we hear a cannon by now?” Clove questions.
“Is she even dead?” Glimmer asks.
“She’s dead, I killed her myself,” Cato says.
“Then where’s the cannon then?” Clove sasses back.
“Someone go check on her then?” Cato commands.


In dialogue like this, I’d really advise at least half your speech tags are either “says” or omitted completely. Here’s an example to illustrate what I mean:

“12 down and 11 to go!” Cato shouts his voice coming closer and closer to the tree I was in.
“Cato can we rest somewhere?” Glimmer complains, her voice coming from right beneath me.
“Let’s rest here,” another voice says probably Marvel, the other Career tribute from District 1.
“Shouldn’t we hear a cannon by now?” Clove says.
“Is she even dead?” Glimmer asks.
“She’s dead, I killed her myself,” Cato says.
“Then where’s the cannon then?” Clove sasses back.
“Someone go check on her then?”


Also, the “then” in the last two lines doesn’t need to be there; there’s repetition in Clove’s line and when Cato “commands” he doesn’t sound very authoritative. However, you could just keep Cato’s line the same and remove the question mark and he’d instantly seem more commanding.

He has cut on his forehead and bruises on his face, knowing that he didn’t listen to Haymitch’s instructions.


What does this line mean? I feel like it could do with rewording.

as I slowly regain conscientious


This should be “consciousness”.

“And I think I saw Marvel cut Ben’s leg with his spear and Ben’s wound looked very deep and bad.” Cato finishes.


I don’t think you need both “deep” and “bad” – I’d consider removing one.

Overall, I feel like this has potential but it could do with some more emotions. Being in the Games is a huge psychological trauma, and it really doesn’t come across in Melissa’s thought processes or actions. I’d really recommend showing more of her feelings and her fear at being in the Games.

I think that’s everything, so sorry it took so long for you to get two reviews!

-steampowered-




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10 Reviews


Points: 76
Reviews: 10

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Fri Dec 11, 2015 9:09 pm
SergeantRosie wrote a review...



Hello! This is SergeantRosie here for a review. Welcome to YWS by the way!

Ok, enough of that, it's review time!
I know that this is supposed to be some sort of fan fiction for the Hunger Games, so it's supposed to be like the book. But if you're going to have new characters of your own, I'd recommend that you make them go through different situations than the ones in the original. Melissa went through nearly everything that Katniss went through pretty similarly. If i were you I'd add some more variety to make it your own. :)

I also noticed that if you weren't familiar with the Hunger Games lore and plot you wouldn't understand a lot that was going on. So I think you need a bit more detail of the background and characters to really make us feel for them. And i do think that the ending was a bit rushed, even though that can be overlooked because it's a short story.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this and I hope you submit more of your works! :)




alexagk01 says...


Thanks for the review. This was for one of my English writing projects and I was really rushed and could only have a certain number of pages and I just made it to the maximum




Find wonder in the everyday, find everyday language to articulate it.
— Maurice Manning