Milk and Cookies

I really like this poem. I completely hear the feelings that went into this poem. Anyone who read it or has felt this would see the meaning behind it, and I think it showed. This was a great poem. This had so much meaning and so little lines. You did well.

Hello, afoxlover184!! Welcome to YWS!

First off, I love the cover art you chose for this poem! It's super cute hehe. Back to the poem itself, I enjoy how simple this poem is. It totally reminds me of the poem "This is Just To Say" by William Carlos Williams and I love it so much. This poem feels like a sticky note you'd find on the refrigerator door. It's so simple yet endearing in the way the speaker apologizes. I could just imagine that "aw man" feeling. You just got done baking a fresh batch of cookies and you open the fridge only to be met with the sad realization that there's no milk. I could feel that sense of embarrassment from the speaker: not wanting to admit that you did/didn't do something but knowing you have to confess.

That being said, I do have a few VERY small suggestions (please take these with the tiniest grain of salt bc I love your poem as is)

And I don't come back
I'm sorry

Hello there, afoxlover184! Welcome to YWS, we're glad to have you in our little writer's family. I thought - what could be a better way to express it than review a work of yours! So here we go ~

The poem seems inspired by the comidic idea of the dad going out to get milk but never coming back, except it's been applied to a relationship here and portrays the other POV, ie.. not the victim, but the one who walked away. It's creative, probably something that hasn't been done before. That itself is commendable, but the effortless way you carry the narrative was an absolute game winner. The language is simple, true to the tone- something I loved very much.

But there seems to be something beyond the surface. The poem is the defense attorney to the guys who never returned. It doesn't mean to protect or justify, but give them the representation they deserve in the least, in their own voice. Is the love that he couldn't return without milk for her favorite cookies or a masculine stubbornness in wanting to prove himself? Or does he not want to face a disappointed expression- is it fear or annoyance? So much is implied, little answered- but that's what makes it so pulling.

The omitting of the child from the narrative gives it a fresh light, as now the partner is even less likely to stay. But despite not having a moral responsibility to not leave, he regrets and harbours guilt for his action. It's no compensation, but mental repentance gives him ease. It's twisted, and yet genuine - all while playing the fun act before the curtains. It's a heartbreaking poem, but has the narrator been narrating us, like they do their partner, all along? All we can do is speculate.

I do have a few suggestions to how I think this could work better. Take it as how I would've done it, and thus no way binding or professional.

If I go to a shop
And I don't come back

I'm sorry

cookies

Hello!

Nice, short poem. Sad, though, but poems are nice when they're sad. I wonder: why would they not come back, just because they couldn't find the milk? Does this have a deeper meaning like divorce or something? Or is it just random? I feel like you could make a really cool backstory for this, you could even write a whole novel/book series! I like that it leaves so many open spaces (not literally) for readers to fill themselves.

The poem itself is also nice, it doesn't rhyme but that suits it well, too. I feel like the cover art doesn't really suit the poem, though. But if that's what you like, use it! Always stick to your opinion as an author, except in certain cases to make your work better, try to listen to that^^ - just a random piece of advice, or... opinion!
Haha not funny joke from me

Anyways I really liked it, so keep writing, have fun while writing, have a wonderful day and thanks for sharing!

-HMMHhehe the potato

Cover is not my artwork!!