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Fervent Feelings

by aditipallod


         

I wrote my first sentence as a small child, fresh out of diapers. Even before that, I used my pink, sparkly pen with the fuzz on one end to try and copy outlandish and foreign looking letters from my favorite book, Heidi. I have long since realized that the most important ingredient to any type of writing is EMOTION. Anyone, be it an author, carpenter, painter, surgeon can write if they feel emotion. You might ask: Doesn’t everyone feel emotion?

Yes, everyone feels emotion. But true, strong, raw emotion only comes as often as a blue moon. Usually, raw emotion comes when something significant in your life occurs. Well, it doesn’t always have to be something significant, but something that struck a match inside your heart, your brain, something that caused fire to course through your body. Ninety percent of the time, that feeling, that emotion is RAGE. PURE RAGE steams out of your ears like at a Spanish bullfighting arena. You are the bull, and everything around you is a blaring red.

In teenagers this emotion occurs most often after a fury-filled argument with your parent(s), guardian(s), uncle(s), aunt(s) or someone else close to you. During this, a chain reaction begins to burst inside of you when you see their anger or rage. It’s even more unpleasant when you begin the fight, or you’re already feeling irate to begin with.

But that spark, that ignition needed to light or begin an annihilation using a petroleum doused hose spread around the world begins with a simple strike of a lighter. And once that rage inflates inside your body like an enormous hot air balloon, it must be let out somehow. Or else it will erupt inside, like a volcano, damaging everything inside of you to the core, causing ripple effects all over.

The best way to utilize that rage is to channel it into something that will benefit you, instead of harm you and twist you, as if your brain is inside the rattle of a baby’s toy that has been shaken too much.

Boxers use the pure madness to beat the life out of their next conquest, or punch their punching bag so hard that it falls down with a loud, satisfying thud. As an individual with a black belt in karate, I know exactly how this is. I’ve been asking for a punching bag for years now, for I know the moments when you just want to punch and punch and never, ever stop. As I am more knowledgeable now, I know to steer that anger towards something productive, such as writing.

As I said, anyone can write. But for those who are not familiar with writing, or those who do not enjoy it, fear not. During a massacre with their parents, many of my friends have written short anger paragraphs and sent them to me for critiques. They sometimes describe anger in itself, a red angry demon, or suicide. The sentences may be choppy, the word language unpretentious, and the grammar and conventions horrendous, but the pure emotion that oozes out between the lines of that writing is unmistakable. It is just the triggering point that can begin an entire war.

Though most are, not all raw emotions are caused from anger. The next common feeling is sadness. Fortunately, I have not been one of those people to experiences tragedies very often. This past summer, my grandfather’s youngest brother passed away. I touched his freezing dead body, so life-like it looked as if he was simply taking an afternoon nap. I watched the individuals I perceived to be the strongest in my life, break down completely. I heard the cries and the wails of the people closest to him and they pierced my heart like a glass shard. I smelled the strong scent of ashes and dust, while he was cremated, as well as a strong whiff of regret. I have tasted the food during the meal on the first night of his death, plain and bland, the tears of all the men and women, the essence of sadness and longing was felt on each and every drop.


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Sun Oct 25, 2015 1:50 pm
artybirdy wrote a review...



Happy Review Day!

I’m artybirdy and I’m here to review your work. This piece caught my eye because it’s very realistic and powerful in terms of expressing thoughts and feelings cohesively. I love your use of certain descriptive words to describe rage/anger. It was well-delivered and emotionally provoked for a response. I wrote couple of stories/poems myself in a fit of anger and hurt, so it’s relatable. Your use of metaphors has also made me enjoy this article/essay (though it feels more like a memoir).

However, like any other craft, this also needs some work. I felt as if some sentences were a mouthful to read. For example, this one:

But that spark, that ignition needed to light or begin an annihilation using a petroleum doused hose spread around the world begins with a simple strike of a lighter.

Though it evokes a vivid imagery, I’d suggest you to cut it down, so it’s read easily.

Another thing I didn’t understand was the use of pictures/images. Did you use it to represent or symbolise something? I can’t see a link or connection between them and the text. Think about it carefully. Do you really need them in there or can you, instead, describe to us what you’re trying to say through them? Does that make sense?

Your essay started off as strong but, nearer to the end, fell flat. You introduce how sadness contributes to, and encourages, our writing in the last two paragraphs, but don’t dwell on it as much as you tell us about rage. To me, at the moment, the piece looked unfinished.

Overall, awesome job!

Keep writing.

P.S. I hope this helps! If you have any questions, feel free to ask me.




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Sun Oct 25, 2015 7:59 am
deleted21 wrote a review...



Hello there mate! Welcome to the site and hopefully you're enjoying here already!

I'm Nire and here to show you my super dumb reviewing skills! I like the title you've got there. And, you've got some interesting stuff here too. I see you've described RAGE as our most important tool for writing and our strongest emotion. Well, yes, I agree with you but only in some specific points. But, I'll come to that later.

In teenagers this emotion occurs most often after a fury-filled argument with your parent(s), guardian(s), uncle(s), aunt(s) or someone else close to you. During this, a chain reaction begins to burst inside of you when you see their anger or rage. It’s even more unpleasant when you begin the fight, or you’re already feeling irate to begin with.


Let's talk about this paragraph. You see puberty is a really mysterious age. And, from my personal experiences, I've learnt that at this stage, the most hard thing is to stay stable. I think you know, this is the changing phrase. Here you change into a sensible adult from a messy kid. And, during the process, your brain is no less than a tornado! The mood swings, the awkward emotions everything. Yes, these are the stuff which make you who you are but this is the time again, when you do the most unnecessary things and useless fight with elders (Escpecially parents) is the most common thing.
So, I don't think here rage has to offer much. Because teens are always interested, excited and again suddenly all the opposite. But, yes, I do agree that teenage is the age where you're in your best form. You're strong, enthusiastic. And, you can do anything you want to. But, we've to be sure of the purpose of what we do.

The best way to utilize that rage is to channel it into something that will benefit you, instead of harm you and twist you, as if your brain is inside the rattle of a baby’s toy that has been shaken too much.


YES, right to the point! :D You can use your anger to do something beneficial of course. And, that's what wise ones do instead of causing harm to them. But, again. You don't want to use your anger in bad ways, do you? Like, look at Syria. They've got that extreme group called International States (ISIS) Now, get this. They're angry too, the extremists. For a reason or other. They're not technically hurting their individual selves, but they are not using their anger for good purpose. They're hurting people, their own brothers, sisters, families. They're killing. They're destroying their own land. Now, how do you support that?
However, I liked the example of boxers you've given.

I'm almost done with my review. But, my friend, I think anger and sadness, only they're not the strongest emotions. There's friendship, love, loyalty. And, they help you to create masterpieces as much as anger or/and sadness does. You've got interesting points there and logic. And, I appreciate that and enjoyed reading it but make sure you don't confuse the readers.

So, hopefully I didn't blabber much. Keep being extraordinary.

~ Nire!




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Sun Oct 25, 2015 6:30 am
TahaT11n wrote a review...



Hi, aditi. Writing a short review for you. ( most of it should criticism, sorry for that)

First, the title. Ok, the title did attract me. But I felt that it should be reconsidered and I would like you to change it. Like, twist it. Try another word instead of "fervent".

The topic is a good one. When I first started reading it,I expected to read all sorts of strong emotions. But later, I found that you only wrote about raging emotions of teenagers. It's alright, since you are a teenager, you know well about it. But I would like you to read about emotions or whatever you are writing an article about, before you write it.

I did like the ending. Because you have shared a very important experience of your life. I am sorry for you and your family members. I pray that he may rest in peace.

However , this is the specialty of writing. You can turn any experience into an inspiration and write anything you want. I found this message in your writing.

About some sentences-
I think, "In teenagers..." , here it should be something like this, " When you are a teenager..." I think it sounds better this way. It's just my opinion. And the sentence should be something like this -" ...I know how to steer..."

This is all I would say for now. I would like to read more of your work.





It's a dramatic situation almost every time you answer the phone—if you answer the phone.
— Matthew Weiner