the power of the mind can be taught in various ways, however, the most powerful way is taught by listening to the world around. Stop eating the information fed to you, go find your power. The truthfulest truth of all truths is in your own experience, your way of listening, your way of seeing don't let anyone else do it for you. For you hold a unique speech and a unique perspective...
Listening to the Moon
I've been told that she loves the moon, never once could she withhold her stare. From observation she knew the cycles, she greeted it at its arrival and escorted it on its departure. Without much thought, we let her be. For it was beautiful to watch we thought, and she just loved its subtle ways.
One day we sat together, to watch the moon. She turned to smile, and whispered... "The sun, shes beautiful she nourishes our Earth. But the moon touches our unity, she moves the oceans, the spirit, she is our mind and soul. To remind you how powerful and beautiful we truly are."
"When you look with the sun, you cannot see farther then the physical world. When you look with the moon, you see the universe, galaxies, stars, you see right into the depths of your soul."
"You know, only humans and nature have the power to touch the deepest parts of our soul."
"The moon, she'll tell you there is so much more than you'll ever know but you have the same power as it all."
"That you too have the power to move the oceans and bring out the stars."
"That we can touch the world just like the moon, just like the moon."
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Howdy! really liked the symbolism of the moon and how you portrayed these deep, meaningful thoughts. it felt majestic and magical. i like how you kind of hint at the characters, you dont directly acknowledge them, but you give them dialogue. i would have liked to see i little more punctuation and a little more clearance about whos saying what, but other than that, good job!
At first, I was wondering who the characters were here, then I realised that it was all very metaphorical.
'"You know, only humans and nature have the power to touch the deepest parts of our soul."' This line gave it away.
I really enjoyed this, kind of feels like an Aesop's face, which is cool.
You should write more like this in the future.
Thank you for you're feed back
It was very interesting in a good way. At first I didn't understand the story, but after I got towards the end, I started understanding a bit more. I liked the phrase, "When you look with the sun, you cannot see farther then the physical world. When you look with the moon, you see the universe, galaxies, stars, you see right into the depths of your soul."
Keep up the good work, I would like to see more writing from you!
thank you
Sunshine here to review...
This kind of reminded me of Stargirl. (If you have not read that book, I highly suggest you do) it was deep and inspirational. And I will now see the moon from a new perspective for now on... My only nit pick is this,
One day we sat together, to watch the moon. She turned to smile, and whispered... "The sun, shes beautiful she nourishes our Earth. But the moon touches our unity, she moves the oceans, the spirit, she is our mind and soul. To remind you how powerful and beautiful we truly are."
"When you look with the sun, you cannot see farther then the physical world. When you look with the moon, you see the universe, galaxies, stars, you see right into the depths of your soul."
"You know, only humans and nature have the power to touch the deepest parts of our soul."
"The moon, she'll tell you there is so much more than you'll ever know but you have the same power as it all."
"That you too have the power to move the oceans and bring out the stars."
"That we can touch the world just like the moon, just like the moon."
When I read it it seems like my mind keeps thinking there's someone else talking to the girl and their having a conversation. Are the just random qoutes from what the girl said throughout that time or is she still whispering this into your ear? I'm not sure how I can suggest how to fix it, your a bit on your own with that. But other than that awesome job! By the way welcome to YWS, you seem like an awesome writer and I look forward to reading more of your works.
so kind of you, and thank you for the input and review. I'll try and make sure it's more clear the next time.