Window Seat

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression

This was quite the little tale. A little snapshot out of someone's life where so many emotions have passed and now it seems they are reminiscing about it somewhat as they reflect.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

It was the window row of the airplane. I was seating in the window seat hoping that no-one will ask me to move to my own seat. As it was my first time in a plane, I was worried that I wouldn’t get the chance to see the mountains, hills, ocean and clouds from the sky.

A bright light comes to my face, and I saw a girl of my own age I looked at her and she looked at me. My heart was beating like a running horse. She just looked at me and smiled. She let me seat in her seat but ask me to switch seats in between the flight and I agreed with her. Even though my plan was to look outside the window the whole time my eyes were at her face. She asked me "What's your name?" and I replied with an unclear voice. I dared to ask her name; the name that I wouldn't never forget in my life. Now I realize, that was the first time I felt what love at first sight was.

Unknown of that I will never meet her in my whole life after the flight I kept gazing at her beautiful eyes. When we landed at the airport destiny didn’t want us to meet again. A person that I only remember their face and name still resides in my heart defining the meaning of love at first sight. Hoping to meet her again and know everything that I would know about her I had moved one.

Hi aaqas!

I love the nostalgic and sweet feel of this piece! It really captures something fleeting or unforgettable that sticks with you! The way you describe the first-time experience on a plane and the wonder of seeing the world from that perspective is so relatable too! It's pretty intimidating at first. I think the characters feel so real and lifelike here, which is a great factor for a story! It's not too boring!

There’s something really beautiful about how love at first sight is portrayed here. It’s more about the memory than the actual relationship, and that’s such an interesting and poetic take! I think a lot of people can connect with that. It's about how someone can leave a lasting impact, even if you never see them again. I've got a soft spot for angsty romance like that! It tugs at my heartstrings I guess!

Now, I do think there are a few places where the clarity could be improved. For instance, "I was seating in the window seat" could be simplified to "I was sitting in the window seat," just to make the flow a bit smoother. Also, the sentence "I wouldn’t never forget in my life" has a double negative, so it might be stronger as "I would never forget in my life." It's all about the small stuff like that to clean up some of the edges! Wordiness isn't always a good thing, even if it feels right!

The ending also feels a bit rushed, especially the last line: "I had moved one." I think you mean "I had moved on." Even beyond that, it feels like there's room to expand on how the narrator reflects on this experience. I think what’s missing overall is more showing rather than telling. You tell us the narrator feels love at first sight, but what if you showed us more about what that looks like??

All in all though, I think you’ve got a really lovely, sentimental story here! I enjoyed reading this, even if I wished it was longer! Well done! =D

— Solstice

Hii..title drew me in, such cute and short story

Love always beautiful can't define and can't express and especially not in a lot of words.

Each first experience of love—be it a glance, a touch, or a shared moment—becomes photographed in our memory, forever marked by its unique charm.

These moments, rich with emotion and significance, remind us we still alive.

Good luck.

Hii, popped on here as soon as I read that title (loved it). This short story is so cute and so sweet, it was a legit good read despite it being short. I have, however, seen some things that you could tweak so the text flows easier, yk? Just my two cents.

Ok, so, on that first line (this isn't major, it's just about grammar), you wrote "I was seating in the window seat". "A seat" and "to sit" are, despite being pronounced kind of the same, two different things: one is a noun and the other a verb. So I would just write "I was *sitting* at the window seat" instead.
On the first line of the second paragraph, you wrote "I saw a girl of my own age I looked at her". I would add a period between "age" and "I" to give the sentence a more coherent reading, if that makes sense. "I saw a girl of my own age. I looked at her..."
A bit further down the lines, you wrote "She let me seat in her seat but ask me to switch seats". I'd switch out the first "seat" with "sit", giving us "She let me *sit*", again, that's just for grammar, and then I'd tweak the words a bit. "Sit", "seat", "switch" and another "seat" are quite a mouthful. I'd try to formulate that sentence differently to make it easier for the reader to follow. Something like "She let me sit in her place, but then asked to switch again later".
The sentence following is actually so cute: "Even though my plan was to look outside the window the whole time my eyes were at her face." However, I'd just add a coma between "time" and "my eyes". This is, again, to help with the tempo and to let the reader sink in the words better. So you'd have "Even though my plan was to look outside the window the whole time, my eyes were at her face." And maybe you could switch out the "at her face" with "on her face" or "glued to her face".
The last few lines of the paragraph bring us to this sentence: "the name that I wouldn't never forget in my life." I find this to be so romantic- hence why I wouldn't change anything but the spelling here to make it grammatically correct. Instead of "wouldn't never", which actually switches the meaning of the sentence, I'd make that "would never". Also, I'd change "in my life" to "my whole life" for a plus of flowiness. So it'll look like this: "the name that I would never forget my whole life".
The last paragraph opens up with a sentence I found slightly hard to understand: "Unknown of that I will never meet her in my whole life after the flight I kept gazing at her beautiful eyes." I think the issue here was just the linking of the words, like for example "of" and "that". I'd rewrite it this way: "Unknown that I will never meet her again after this flight, I kept gazing at her beautiful eyes". It makes it easier to understand, you feel me?
Ok, I find this next sentence so romantic and knee-weakening: "A person that I only remember their face and name still resides in my heart defining the meaning of love at first sight." However... I'd switch out some words to make it easier to follow. For example, I'd rewrite this first half into this: "A person who's face and name still reside in my heart, defining the meaning of love at first sight".
This last line, I have to say that I didn't really understand. Maybe it's my poor imagination or something, but from what I understood, it's a nice way to end the story. I'd maybe switch "know everything that I would know about her" into "know more about her" or "find out everything that's to be known about her".

In short, I really like this story. the things I suggested you tweak are just related to syntax and grammar, but your message got across to me anyway, and it was beautiful. I'm a sucker for this kind of "fell so hard without knowing anything about her and then never saw her again" type of vibe, and this story was exactly it! I just realized that my review is long af, but it's not me tearing down your text and saying it's horrible because it clearly isn't. I might've yapped a bit much, tho, so I hope you don't mind it- (it's my first review and I got into it). Anyway, I hope this was helpful and remember, just because my review was long, it doesn't mean that this short story wasn't absolutely adorable and heartfelt.