Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Lyrical


Places, Faces, and Their Tales

by aVeryThoughtfulBeing


A trail of vagabonds
Traveling along, each with a tale of their coming alongs
Called life, what you've done
There's experiene at the next light.
And I find myself in some small place
What I just call a minor day
A delay, is a town
Another field of experience.
Stretching back, happening now, and destined to happen
A unique place with exact position and condition.
Nothing special to me but who am I to say?
The faces and all the places seen today, show something differerent
A reverent place, a home with past and grace
Because even here experience lasts
People, things, happenings, come and go
Sadly there are many things I'll never know.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
98 Reviews


Points: 273
Reviews: 98

Donate
Fri Sep 21, 2012 3:35 am
Rainn wrote a review...



I like how you nicely thought this thing out. Your rhyming is very good, and so is your grammar. This poem has a good story to it.

Although, it seems to crowded. To me, would not putting it into more separated stanzas be less claustrophobic looking? Just a suggestion. Maybe something like this:

A trail of vagabonds
Traveling along, each with a tale of their coming alongs
Called life, what you've done
There's experiene at the next light.
And I find myself in some small place
What I just call a minor day
A delay, is a town

Another field of experience.
Stretching back, happening now, and destined to happen
A unique place with exact position and condition.
Nothing special to me but who am I to say?

The faces and all the places seen today, show something differerent
A reverent place, a home with past and grace
Because even here experience lasts
People, things, happenings, come and go
Sadly there are many things I'll never know


Keep up the great work!!

~Rainn






Thank you for the appreciation :) And yeah you're totally right about that, I hadn't considered that and the reason being because I write everything in a journal and tend to use spaces to separate poems instead of add structure to them (I'll add structure like that but I'm sure you get what I mean), but thanks for pointing that out I'll be sure to take that into consideration for when I put my many more writings to come on here. :D




A classic is a book which people praise and don't read.
— Mark Twain