Hi, this was a really interesting poem. It left me feeling a bit confused, and I've re-read it a couple times and am still a bit confused (then again my exhaustion could have something to do with that!).
The things I liked:
The juxtaposition of fixing something with a hammer and saw, when the usual connotation is destrustion. I also like the use of weak ceasure mid-line, allowing the reader to stop and think of what is being said before moving on. I liked that it's the kind of poem that can be interpreted in different ways for different people, when I first read it I thought it was about protesting against wrong things ("passion for your cause"), but in second reading I thought it could also apply to someone who is unhappy with their appearence ("bothersome flaws"). I loved the metaphor of "throwing them in the box" and the overall effect of imagry throughout the poem. Finally, I liked the range of vocabulary you used because it kept things interesting.
Things I disliked/the confused me:
I didn't like that the first question did not follow the same pattern as the other two (seen is not a morpheme of happening, but mean is of meaning). I also thought the rhyming scheme didn't work, at least for me. Your poem was about something that needs fixing, and this seemed to oppose the way in which your lines rhymed perfectly with one another. I love the use of rhyme schemes in potry, but I think this one was over done and didn't suit the message as I understood it. Finally, I wish an overall message could have been made clearer by the end.
All of this is just my personal opinion though! I enjoyed reading your poem, it's definitely made me think, and I'd be very interested to read more of your writing in the future!
Points: 294
Reviews: 92
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