You sit down tenderly
Getting your brain working dependably
But then, you type the first letter
And then in an inferno, your creativity vanishes as if not writing at all was better
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140,254 Literary Works • 673,070 Reviews
Hi!
First, it looks great. It is so relatable, touching on Writer's Block and loss of creativity which all of us writers can relate to.
I have one suggestion for you, I think you could elaborate more on it, make it longer. Don't get me wrong, it looks great already, but I think you could add to it.
Keep up the amazing work!
Hello there! :D I saw this in the literary section, and I decided to drop a review! c: I hope you don't mind if this review is on the shorter side, as your poem is also on the shorter side ^_^
AHH very relatable xD that's the first thing I thought of when I read this poem. I find poems that are more relatable to be more memorable, because it makes it easier for the reader to connect and relate to what the poem is saying. Then they'll often remember it more c: So I like how you took a pretty relatable concept and turned it into this lovely poem! Because of the topic, I'm sure that this will be able to reach a lot of writers, and therefore, a wider audience xD
I like the different word choices you have going on here! "tenderly" suggest delicacy, as if the speaker is saying that if you had sat down not so gracefully, your ideas would vanish -> so basically, it's like saying your creativity and inspiration is very fragile, and any sudden or harsh movement would cause it to vanish. That's a very fitting word to use! I think "vanishes" also has the same effect since it implies fragile-ness or delicacy. So overall, your language is consistent and everything seems to connect quite well! c:
I do have some suggestions for you! ^_^ These are just suggestions, so if you don't agree, please feel free to ignore me and disregard them <3
I personally think this line is a bit wordy, particularly the "Getting your brain" part. The only way I can think of right now that you could reword this, is this:
I'm sure there are other possible ways to reword this to make it flow better! I can't think of any more right now xD but I would suggest replacing "Getting your brain" as it doesn't seem to flow quite well for me
The next thing I would like to mention is some repetition!
Repetition isn't a bad thing at all!! But since your poem is on the shorter side, every word holds more weight, matters more, and stands out more. I would suggest trying to avoid repetition since you already have limited words and you want to deliver as much of an impact as you can in your four lines. But it's up to you! If you think the repetition works, then that's wonderful! c: I do think it's a matter of option, but I just wanted to give you my opinion so you could play around with it more.
The last thing I'd like to mention is a random thought I had while reading
Punctuation is a stylistic choice, so feel free to disregard if you don't agree! My suggestion was to add a period at the end of this. It would give a sense of finality. In addition, it's like putting a stop to the writing (since the "you" has lost their creativity, they are probably not going to write anymore, and that period could signify that). I think that would be a cool addition and might further add to the whole "I can't write / I have writer's block" sorta theme you have going on here. But it's up to you!
And that's all I got for you! :) Overall, this was a super neat piece that I really enjoyed reading! It was quite lovely how you were able to pack a lot in just a few lines. I hope to read more from you soon, and I hope this helped!
Hello there, Underscore!
We understand your frustration. Countless times have we touched quill to parchment (what is this "typing" you refer to), heads filled to bursting with ideas, only to have the aforementioned ideas rush away. It's a great letdown indeed and you've captured that magnificently.
The one criticism we do have is that your poem does seem a touch melodramatic, but this isn't valid criticism for a number of reasons, the foremost being that it is, in fact, YOUR POEM.
Good luck on your future writing endeavors!
Sláinte,
The Cidrian Writer's Guild
This is a good start and relatable. But, is this poem just meant to be only 4 stanzas because it's shorter than I expected. Not that it's bad, but I hoped for a longer piece. But other than that, it's a nice poem.
Hey there! MapleWay here dropping off a quick review!
This was a cool poem! It perfectly describes what most people refer to as "writer's block". The rhyming was a nice touch as well! The only thing is I felt like there could've been a bit more. Like maybe talk about the narrator's frustration or something.
Otherwise great poem! Can't wait to see more!
- MapleWay