The Girl Who Broke Free

(This story was a personal narrative that we had to write in school. Enjoy!)

I am a Shadow.

The wind blew softly as Shadow stood motionless on her porch, her back against the hard rock. She listened intently, as if someone was talking. Thundered roared loudly above her. She breathed deeply, taking it all in. Her eyes closed as she moved her sleeve from the wrist of her arm. Her right hand reluctantly moved over the scars and traced the thin lines one by one.

Her eyes snapped open and grabbed the glossy silver notebook from her lap and the pencil from behind her ear. Pressing the pencil to her book, she looked up at her surroundings. Trees as thick as bricks stared back at her. Then silently, she started to write.

“I am a Shadow.”

As if that were the ending, she stood up and walked off the porch, grabbing her black messenger bag along the way. The trees stretched unendingly before her as she walked her invisible path, marked by the trees. The rain played lightly as she walked but Shadow didn’t care. She loved it.

When she arrived home she walked directly to her room.

Her room was dark. The walls were silver and the floors, black. Everything followed suit. Her dresser was black, her mirror was outlined in black, and even her bathroom was black and white. The only other color she had was a blood red. And this was only because of what happened years ago. The suicide attempt. Her suicide attempt.

She didn't bother turning on the light, but she closed and locked her bedroom door. She stared silently out of her window that faced JTK Forest, her forest.

“Forever restrained by the shackles of light”

                                                                         *~~*

Shadow sat quietly in the library, looking at the book in her lap. It was Burnt by PJ. Bayliss, a book of dark poetry. She could feel their eyes burning into her skin as they looked at her, but she didn’t care. Even though she hated the attention, she didn’t care because right now she was doing a test. An experiment on herself and the others around her. She wanted to see just how far they would go. Just how far would they bend their backs to get at her and make her snap. She was studying them, but not like they studied her. She studied their behavior, their likes and dislikes, their angers and their passions. They all had a page in that glossy silver notebook she always carries around. Every single one of them…

“Shadow, are you okay?” Shadow looked to where the voice came from and an actual smile lit across her face.

“What are you doing here?” Shadow sat the book on the table and turned to her best friend, her one and only friend,Damien. He glanced at the title and a frown appeared on his face.

“Please don’t start about me anymore okay? I’m fine.” She lied, plastering a fake smile on her face like she does with her parents.

Just as Damien was about to say something his phone rang. He excused himself out of the library and took the call. Using this as time to avoid his infinite amount of questions, Shadow quickly checked the book out of the library and went to put it in her locker.

“Look who finally appears,” Micky started, “It’s Shadow!” Her friends laughed at her joke but Shadow ignored them. She quickly put the code into her lock and it clicked open. She flipped open her locker and was met with a loud bang. Micky’s friends stopped laughing. The hallway quieted. Shadow’s eyes widened as she peaked around the door of her locker.

From the other side, Micky held her nose and whimpered in pain. Her pain turned into anger as she pushed Shadow backwards, where she fell into the floor. Laughter resumed but it wasn’t as loud. Micky, with a glare, tossed every single book out of Shadow’s locker onto her and laughed.

“Shadow!” A distant voice called but was drowned out by the laughs Shadow was receiving. Her eyes watered as she curled into a ball as she felt the never-ending kicks into her body. She knew it was Micky, by the sharp edges of her gold-glittered Jimmy Choos. She felt the cuts she made earlier in the weekend tear open. She cried out loudly. Shadow sat there, oblivious to the fact that the kicking had stopped until she felt a tap on her shoulders. The hallway was empty besides Damien and the now impatiently waiting Principal, Mr. Jenkins.

Shadow followed quietly into the principal's office where Micky already sat. Mr. Jenkins sat at his desk, typing something on the computer before turning to the girls.

“What happened?” he directed to Damien who answered honestly. He wasn’t there when it had started; he only heard the loud cries Shadow made.

“It first started when I was getting things out of my locker; “she lied easily,” then Shadow came up and hit me.” She uncovered her nose to let us see the blood that trickled down.

“That’s not what happened,” Shadow said lowly but loud enough so the principal could hear her. He scolded her so that she put her head down in shame. The principal let Micky continue her story which was lie after lie.

“Not given the freedom of speech because of my being stereotyped”

Anger boiled inside of her and this time she didn’t let it stay. She wouldn’t let Micky win again. She had been winning far too long and now it was Shadow’s turn. Shadow stood up, even after being told to sit back down she wouldn’t abide. She didn’t want to win though, that feeling went away as she stood against her principal. She wanted to be free. Grabbing her notebook and pencil, she walked out. She didn’t care if she was going to get expelled, she didn’t care that her parents would be worried, she didn’t care that she was being selfish and that she should go back and apologize and take the blame. She didn’t care anymore.

Shadow walked up the street slowly. The wind blew softly against her and a smile crossed her face. She was free. Free from all the scars she had made to herself and the scars that they made.

She was halfway down the block when she heard someone call her name. She stopped and turned around to face Damien.  From his expression she knew he was mad but she didn’t care.

“Where are you going?” he asked, his face showing full concern for her.

“I’m going home,” Shadow said, turning back around and walking, not caring whether he was following her or not. He was. Shadow laughed out of nowhere as the wind grew colder and she turned around to see Damien shivering.

“Shadow? Are you okay?” he asked cautiously but she didn’t respond, she just walked on. Damien grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her around so that she was facing him. When he felt something wet on his hand, he pulled back and gasped at the red liquid. His eyes snapped to Shadow’s wrist and his face hardened.

“I’m sorry Damien. I know I promised but…”Shadow trailed off. She felt a tug on her wrist. Damien was pulling her back towards the school. She pulled back violently and ran in the opposite direction of him with her book and pencil in hand. She heard the distant voice of Damien as he called out to her but she didn’t stop, she ran faster. She laughed uncontrollably as she ran towards her forest, her home.

“The girl who looks up at the night sky and laughs for no reason”

She stopped to catch her breath. Shadow smiled wickedly as she was about to take off again but a hand tugged on her sleeve. She turned around to face Damien.

“Please stop Shadow. You’ll get lost in here and I don’t want that to happen to you. Let me help you." Damien sighed. He let go of her arm only to groan loudly as the girl took off running again. Shadow ran quickly, slow enough that Damien could see her but fast enough that he couldn’t catch her. She laughed all the while until she stopped once more.

“I’m fine Damien,” She said.

“But you’re bleeding and…” He was cut off by the dropping of her glossy notebook and that metallic pencil. His eyes widened as he realized she was gone. How she disappeared so fast, he didn’t know. He picked up her notebook and opened it cautiously, afraid that she would come back and scold him.

“I am a shadow

Forever restrained by the shackles of light

I am a shadow

Not given the freedom of speech because of my being stereotyped

I am a shadow

The girl who looks up at the night sky and laugh for no reason

The girl who dances under the quiet moonlit sky

The girl who leaves time in pieces

I am a shadow

The girl who writes

I am Shadow”

Shakily, as a tear slid down his face, he picked up the pencil. He knew she wasn’t coming back but he also knew she wouldn’t leave it uncompleted. So, in neat handwriting, he wrote for her,

                              “The girl who broke free…”